http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 10:32:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153461 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 19:22:06 +0000 Squudge 153461@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Malgor, I think you should have James cock her head on one side, bite her lip and murmur 'My pride was mortally wounded...etc'</p> <p>Now I am in the mood to bludgeon something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153459 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 19:17:59 +0000 Not Amused 153459@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I would have thought Michelle Tyson was involved at some point </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153456 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 19:01:34 +0000 malgor 153456@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, pretty good. You should make that point about James in the article. 'My pride was mortally wounded,' said E L James on learning that Rowling had never even heard of her; 'still, it's better than having your head chopped off.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153449 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:43:55 +0000 MikeyMike 153449@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ooooh I kinda like that, except I'm not so sure I want to give James the honor of even being included </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153351 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 11:40:56 +0000 Squudge 153351@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yup you did good</p> <p>I'd have like to have seen JK and Suzanne teaming up initially to eliminate E L James from the pool of survivors, to ensure that the last of their race wasn't a total abomination </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53212#post-153309 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 04:09:17 +0000 MikeyMike 153309@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Esteemed British author J.K. Rowling fought and killed fellow author Suzanne Collins last week in a crowded Boston train station, marking the end of a centuries-old battle between the two immortal and furiously headstrong women. Sources close to Rowling said that she was glad to be through with the brutal conflict, which necessarily ended with the Hunger Games' author's head thoroughly separated from her body.</p> <p>Sean Connery, Scottish actor and self-proclaimed expert on this age-long war of nearly invincible feminist fantasy writers, came forward to explain this mystical phenomenon. He said that Rowling and Collins both belonged to an ancient race of immortal and independent women.</p> <p>Rowling, multimillionaire creator of the Harry Potter franchise, is 46 years old, according to British hospital records, but Connery's testimonial puts this documentation into question. "From the dawn of time they came," said Connery, "moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering, when the few who remain will battle to the last."</p> <p>Connery said that Rowling and Collins, the last of their race, had been battling for a prize which, among other things, could've included an eternity of slavery and darkness had Collins won the duel. Now that Collins is dead, however, humanity is safe.</p> <p>Rowling, back at home in Gloucestershire, appeared to be enjoying her hard-fought prize of global telepathy, clairvoyance and mortality. Eager to start another novel and begin living a normal life, Rowling basked in the glory of her victory over Collins. "There can only be one," she sighed.</p> <p>I'm not sure I know how posting works. Did I do good? </p>