http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 10:29:33 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153447 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:39:11 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 153447@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice. I was going to write something along very similar lines but haven't got around to it, bloody work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153416 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 16:21:08 +0000 Oxbridge 153416@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wunderbar! Funf *</p> <p>Alternative ending? ... A bit pricy for ten packs of reefer papers, but bugger me they're paying it. No wonder their economy's down the tube if that's how they carry on. I told one "For you Fritz, ze currency war is over" and he roared with laughter. Terrific sense of humour, those Germans.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153408 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:56:27 +0000 Dick Everyman 153408@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice story Dad</p> <p>.....and excellent flounce simonjmr - have virtual stars and a virtual manly hug </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153405 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:52:03 +0000 Squudge 153405@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VG.<br /> Where are the fluffy sock/gloves that shed damp fibres on your skin? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153404 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:50:11 +0000 custard cream 153404@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>brilliant! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153400 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:47:15 +0000 simonjmr 153400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>*Flounce* Not even a hat tip</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52744" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52744</a> *Flounce over* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153253 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:18:44 +0000 writinginbsl 153253@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>rushed last line but very funny</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53192#post-153248 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:02:19 +0000 SuburbanDad 153248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Towns across Germany have reported record numbers of people deserting their traditional Christmas Markets in favour of newer imports from England. 'We were all getting bored of gingerbread, wooden toys and gluhwein,' said Alex Reichelt, mayor of Nurnberg, 'and everyone fancied something a bit more exotic - fake Duracells, toy dogs with hidden spikes, cheap womens' knickers with the label of the shop they were nicked from cut out. The English have given us all this - and more!'</p> <p>Many visitors come simply for the thrill of the "traditional afternoon punch-up", performed daily. Spectators are given guides in German explaining that 3.15 marks the traditional end of British lunchtime binge drinking. On the rousing cry of "Shut it, you slag", female stallholders start bitch-slapping each other, while the men make sure at least one of them is flown home in an air ambulance.</p> <p>The English stalls, with their plastic sheeting shimmering gently in the frosty air, held down by "those big crocodile clips you see on jump leads", are causing growing resentment amongst German traders. 'How can our bratwurst stand compete against the impossibly sophisticated "fish and chips"?' said one disgruntled local. 'And we can't even understand them when they speak English, let alone German. What the hell is ''gerrchabattriestenfrapoound"?'</p> <p>'To be honest the language is the only tricky bit' said Dave Smith, owner of the Rizlas, Lighters and Bongs stall. 'At first I couldn't get the Krauts to understand we only take proper money - pounds sterling - which is how everything ended up costing "nein euros". A bit pricy for ten packs of reefer papers, but bugger me they're paying it. I could almost forgive 'em for trying to kill my grandad' </p>