http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53185 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 13:28:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53185#post-153261 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:31:00 +0000 custard cream 153261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>brilliant! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53185#post-153226 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 17:37:43 +0000 antharrison 153226@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A small rafter of specially trained turkeys from the 'crack' 1st Norfolk Division has completed a daring pre-Christmas attack on the former home of Bernard Matthews, and have stolen his cremated remains, which were then fed to other turkeys.</p> <p>The turkeys, led by Henry, a prize winning Bronze, from Norwich assembled a squad of five Whites and was assisted by two chickens and a duck in the daring raid. Three of the Whites created a commotion by pretending to fight amonst themselves to act as a decoy, allowing the two remaining Whites and their accomplices to raid Matthews' former home and liberate his ashes which were stored in a giant jar.</p> <p>After the successful raid, Henry fed the ashes to the inmates on the Matthews' farm. Asked how the ashes tasted Henry could only think of one phrase in a tribute to the deceased head of the Matthews empire 'Like shit, which if had been honest would have replaced his bootiful comments about us.'</p> <p>To honour the bravery of the turkeys, chickens and duck they will be decorated in a moving ceremony; with bacon, Parma ham and orange slices respectively. </p>