http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53174 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 11:07:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53174#post-153216 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 16:56:59 +0000 beau-jolly 153216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What they said.</p> <p>Thinks: Hmmm "Bovid". How can I get that into a conversation? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53174#post-153199 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:57:00 +0000 dvo4fun 153199@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53174#post-153197 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:45:41 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 153197@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely stuff </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53174#post-153178 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 11:31:51 +0000 Darkbill 2.0 153178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Villagers from the tiny community of Ruritania in Eastern Europe say they can’t wait to eat the goat donated as an ethical Christmas gift by the Spencer family from Sittingbourne.</p> <p>“Every Christmas, kind people from Britain send us a goat, and every year it’s delicious,” says local schoolteacher Dracovic Popivic.</p> <p>A spokesperson for the goat-based charity NoKidsLeftBehind, which promotes the scheme, says: “Everywhere else we donate a goat, the villages breed the goats for market, drink their milk and use their dung as fertiliser. The big problem with this particular village is they just <em>love</em> the taste of goat.</p> <p>“When we drop the goat off we always ask, you’re not going to eat this one are you? And they always say, no: then we go back a couple of days later, there’s no sign of the goat and everyone’s burping.”</p> <p>European goat monitor Hans Kringle says: “We estimate Ruritanians have munched their way through approximately 35 donated goats, 20 sheep, four pigs and two cows, this year alone.</p> <p>“You could view this as a perfectly normal reaction to prolonged spells of poverty and hunger but the average Ruritanian has a BMI of 49, which is officially classed as <em>morbidly obese</em>.”</p> <p>When asked what might be done to tackle the issue of the villagers excess goat consumption, Kringle replies: “I think it may be time for the charity to review what is effectively a meat donation programme to a town full of cheeky gutbuckets.”</p> <p>When asked how the village would react to a cessation of goat services, Popivic tries to remain sanguine: “I can’t pretend we wouldn’t miss it. Having regular goat deliveries has brought our community closer together, and it makes a nice change from pizza.”</p> <p>Keith Spencer who with his wife Linda donated this year’s Ruritanian Christmas snack, says: “I work in cloud computing and Linda does Pilates, so we consider ourselves incredibly blessed; so when Christmas comes we like to spread it around.</p> <p>“We don’t think of Chris as <em>our</em> goat, he's <em>their</em> goat, although I confess I will be a little disappointed if he doesn’t at least make it to the Queen’s Speech, unscathed.”</p> <p>However, the people of Ruritania maintain they are grateful to the Spencers and want others to consider making similar bovid donations.</p> <p>Postmistress Natasha Previk is typical of many Ruritanians when she says: “If you keep sending ‘em, we’ll keep eating ‘em.” </p>