http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53075 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 06:03:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53075#post-152995 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 07:22:19 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 152995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>All too feasible. The thought of my slightly bearded (face) maiden Great Aunt Joan's arse appearing as an April surprise fills me with fear and loathing. </p> <p>Could see this catching on for TV. We need to raise another million or Terry will flash his wogan. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53075#post-152905 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 16:44:31 +0000 Drylaw 152905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And husband Timothy West in the part of old man in queue wearing nothing but a bus pass. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53075#post-152854 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 09:41:00 +0000 Stan Laurel 152854@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An enterprising group of elderly ladies from Buxton believe they have hit upon a unique fund raising scheme by promising not to issue a nude calendar provided the public pledge sufficient funds for a refit of their day care centre.</p> <p>Speaking in a quivery voice, Mavis Newberry, 83, told reporters they had hit upon the idea following a chance remark. ‘We were discussing whether to have another coffee morning or, perhaps, a whist drive when Betty said ‘everyone seems to be doing nude calendars to raise funds nowadays.’ Quick as a flash cheeky old Ernest Patterson quipped that he would ‘rather pay for us to keep our clothes on’, which sparked off the idea.’</p> <p>In order to make the unsuspecting public realise that their threat of a nude calendar was real, the brave old dears went ahead and stripped for a photo shoot after obtaining sponsorship from steam iron manufacturers, Tefal. They then released a single advance publicity shot featuring 93 year old Maureen Willis, posing in her beloved Post Office pension queue as saucily as she could manage, with nothing more than a tartan shopping bag hanging from her Zimmer frame to cover the blushes of viewers. </p> <p>Posters have been printed with the Maureen’s photo with the accompanying caption: ‘This is Grannie January. Unless you donate at least a fiver, another eleven Grannies will be unleashed before Christmas. You have been warned.’ </p> <p>The initial response was one of mild amusement followed by general revulsion; but once the true horror of the situation sunk in the donations started to roll in and the ladies are now optimistic of reaching their targets. </p> <p>It is hoped that the OAPs’ idea will catch on nationally and it will soon become fashionable for groups not to issue nude calendars. Unfortunately, it is rumoured that a stage show is being written of the old girls' exploits, with Prunella Scales already pencilled in to play the part of Maureen. </p>