http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53047 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 13:41:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53047#post-152916 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 18:31:19 +0000 Otto Jespersen 152916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good lucks in the deeping-down pockets department. Ist a long night off der winters mitt not der rubbing pennies to your names after the legal goings and froings. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53047#post-152909 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:11:08 +0000 Smart Alex 152909@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Laughed out loud. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53047#post-152774 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 19:34:04 +0000 beagle 152774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Operation Yewtree has been widened to investigate abuse claims brought against Keith Harris, one of the UKs best known Ventriloquists.</p> <p>We cannot tell you the identity of his alleged victim but can tell you he's male, green and of the genus 'duck'.</p> <p>"Basically, Keith would me sit on his knee, shove his hand up my arse and make me speak in a high voice" the victim told us in a phone interview "And this happened for 20 years. 20 years of continuous, non-consentual fisting. No wonder I had to wear a bloody nappy."</p> <p>Horrific stories are also circulating that after these public finger-rimming sessions Mr Harris would then lock his victim in a suitcase.</p> <p>"I don't know how he got away with it for so long" said a Police spokesman "Chutzpah, I expect. Sure, we used to see the duck on his knee but never thought for a second he was giving the poor thing an arm enema. Mr Harris has a case to answer here. We're talking systematic abuse and mental torture. The duck's fine but some of those audiences will never recover."</p> <p>Keith Harris rose to fame in the 1980s and, according to his press release, was a well-loved and well-respected TV performer although many people will remember him simply as a TV performer.</p> <p>Mr Harris has been tight-lipped and silent. He has released a statement through his lawyer, Cuddles the Monkey, who repudiated the charge calling his client's accuser a "greedy gucking gunt". </p>