http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52954 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 04:39:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52954#post-152440 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 08:33:17 +0000 Sinnick 152440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite a different idea - I like it.</p> <p>Could add something about sterilising the mountains of wildlife, or replacing them with a host of coal-fired power stations or plastics factories, or other Chinese hobbies. Don't be shy about knocking the planet's no.1 imperial power. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52954#post-152434 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 08:21:02 +0000 Squudge 152434@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>perhaps a comment on the P&amp;P is in order - especially via RoyalMail... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52954#post-152431 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 07:52:46 +0000 thumper 152431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“Are you a Bond villain looking for a place to hide, or just a totalitarian dictator who wants to suppress a rebel uprising in style? Either way, have we got the perfect Christmas gift for you…”</p> <p>So starts the product description on the internet auction site for ‘700 barely-used mountains’, as the Chinese government offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have an entire geographical area shipped direct to your doorstep.</p> <p>“At first we were just planning to flatten them to make way for a new metropolis,” said Yan Jiehe, head of the China Pacific Construction Group undertaking the mountain removal. </p> <p>“But then we realised we were being selfish – although we have a surplus of mountains in China, there are lots of countries and/or billionaires out there in desperate need of the aggressive defence capabilities provided by thousands of tonnes of pointy rock.”</p> <p>Although the auction only opened a day ago, bidding appears to have already started in earnest, with North Korea and an anonymous bidder called ‘Number1’ the early front-runners.</p> <p>Asked about their motives, North Korea declared that the mountains were a surprise birthday present for their southern neighbours, while ‘Number1’ stroked his cat and muttered something about a missile launch base. </p> <p>The prospect of these mountains being used for evil has sparked concern in the international community, however Yan Jiehe denied it was China’s responsibility:</p> <p>“All we want to do is give them a good home. If that means dropping them using thousands of helicopters on a country of the winning bidder’s choosing then that’s what we’ll do.”</p> <p>“Any negative repercussions are the fault of the auction winner, not us. We can’t be blamed for providing excellent customer service.” </p>