http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 20:26:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152618 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:54:13 +0000 Gerontius 152618@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I still send my niece innocuous birthday cards with motorbikes on or something to do with fly-fishing...always sign them To Laura...from your mother's brother.<br /> It doesn't matter how you say it....'uncle' always seems to come out a bit creepy.<br /> Laura is now 28 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152617 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:41:14 +0000 button 152617@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strike>Lovely</strike> err I mean adequate work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152616 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 11:27:55 +0000 Des Custard 152616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice FP Stanley. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152302 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 09:07:06 +0000 dvo4fun 152302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think I've still got my social work qualification so I'll nip over to your's straight away DBL </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152301 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 08:56:34 +0000 DustyBinLaden 152301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm phoning Childline. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152297 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 08:32:58 +0000 Stan Laurel 152297@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Guys, thanks for the comments.<br /> DBL, good spot.(Stupid spell check ..)</p> <p>Love Stan,<br /> xxx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152258 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 22:46:01 +0000 waylandsmithy 152258@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very sadding, and excellentlier writtened. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152246 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:20:51 +0000 DustyBinLaden 152246@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Heartbreaking. I found a lost kid walking around Brighton town centre a few years back. Being a dad (not that that necessarily makes any difference), I just naturally offered to take him over to a nearby bus inspector's cabin where they would be able to radio the police, or something helpful. Before I could, this woman came up and told me it might be better if she took him, me being a bloke and that...</p> <p>We also had a local group of granddads who were running workshops teaching young kids to make steam engines and build bird boxes and other harmless nonsense. They had to close down because they were unable to get through the council's very strict vetting process for working with young people, which was far beyond what they could accommodate in relation to the health and safety, and safeguarding, requirements of the council.</p> <p>Very sad.</p> <p>Not sure it's the funniest sub I've read, but stars anyway.</p> <p>PS: para 3: 'exclamation mark'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152230 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 19:26:27 +0000 Gerontius 152230@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Creepy feeling indeed MD...did you manage to find out whose niece it was in the end?</p> <p>Stan...you have no idea. It's been a treacherous minefield for years. I don't even kiss my mom anymore<br /> I suspect it is not just us bachelor uncles who are wary these days, the way you family guys are being asked to explain your movements </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152162 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:31:50 +0000 dvo4fun 152162@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stan, nice work</p> <p>@Midfield: Nope, with you on that one </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152122 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 09:17:22 +0000 Dick Everyman 152122@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>XXXXX </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152115 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 08:11:39 +0000 Midfield Diamond 152115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant, 5 stars. Captures perfectly that slightly awkward creepy feeling that many of us have had on becoming friends with a 21 year old niece on Facebook (ok, maybe that's just me then) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52840#post-152109 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 07:26:35 +0000 Stan Laurel 152109@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Unmarried middle aged uncle won’t be putting kisses on cards this Christmas</strong></p> <p>Unmarried uncle of four, Derek Johnson, has decided not to put kisses on the Christmas card he is sending to his nephews and nieces this year. </p> <p>'I'd never really thought about it before,' said the shy 47 year old bachelor, 'but that awful Savile scandal has made me realise that putting kisses on cards for kids under the age of 10 has to be considered rather dodgy. Even writing ‘with love from' could be misinterpreted, so after considerable thought I've decided to sign them 'yours faithfully' just to be on the safe side.'</p> <p>After further consideration, Mr Johnson has decided to be extremely neutral on the card that he sends to 18 year old niece, Emma. 'I regret scribbling 'have fun' on her last birthday card. It was an unforgivable encouragement to all sorts of terrible acts, especially since I added a throwaway examination mark after my comment.'</p> <p>Mr Johnston admits to finding the pressures of reaching middle age without a life partner rather difficult. 'I've only ever had eyes for one girl and sadly she has never reciprocated. I'm not even sure if she ever reads the love letters I send,' he said wistfully, before adding forcefully 'I'm not gay you know, like almost all of the other members of my Kylie fan club branch seem to be.' </p> <p>Turning to his brother and sister in law, Derek is now worried that any signs of affection in their Christmas card might be open to misinterpretation. ‘Jacqui is a lovely girl, but I don’t want her to get the wrong impression from the type of card I send. You have to be so careful these days. I mean, something as innocent as mistletoe on a card could cause all sorts of awkwardness.’</p> <p>Despite his concerns dealing with the greetings card minefield, the council administrator is still looking forward to his seasonal job as a department store Santa Claus. ‘I just love to see the innocent faces of the youngsters as they climb up on my knee and I give them a little something,’ he said joyfully, ‘it gives me such a thrill.’ </p>