http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 06:46:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152157 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:10:41 +0000 button 152157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Completely brilliant and excellent Quaz. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152124 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 09:19:31 +0000 Sinnick 152124@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent, Quaz</p> <p>and nice joke, nickb. I'm still giggling - I may have taken a double dose of medicine this morning. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152110 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 07:37:50 +0000 Perks 152110@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really good! 5 *'s </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152091 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 23:25:43 +0000 Quaz 152091@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I should warn you now: I once relabled all the office tea, coffee and sugar with logos from the store room of "The Swan" from the TV series "Lost", and the secondary server room at work (known as "The bunker" because it is re-enforced concrete with no windows, at the end of a complex corridor) still has the logo stuck on the inside of the server room door. Life in an IT dept gets so geeky that "The IT Crowd" really doesn't quite do it justice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152090 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 23:07:47 +0000 pinxit 152090@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not at all!<br /> Sounds like NB Chat room, actually. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152085 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 22:01:34 +0000 Quaz 152085@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, should have spotted that.</p> <p>"One time I used the sonic screwdriver to prise the lid off a tin of Dulux. Turns out I only went and opened a wormhole to another dimension and filled the Tardis with 'The Silence'. I felt a right berk, the Doctor went mental at me afterwards, and it took days to paint over all the numbers we had to write on the walls." </p> <p>One for the true fans maybe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152083 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 21:13:57 +0000 The All New Jeni B 152083@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely the painter must have had a mishap with the sonic screwdriver after using it to prise off the lid of a tin of paint, and then stir it?</p> <p>Stars anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152081 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 20:59:25 +0000 Quaz 152081@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all. If anyone has any other ideas that could feature, chuck them in. The Ed will make it all come out in the wash. I did wonder about the concept of having an infinite roll of wallpaper.</p> <p>My sister was once an archaeologist, and they used to refer to the blue on-site chemical toilet as "The turdis". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152046 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 16:15:37 +0000 nickb 152046@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dr Who's proctologist locates turdis. Juvenile. But so is this post. Doesn't make it not funny. I love Dr Who humour. (Whomour)</p> <p>This is not a joke that works written down but is excellent for 9 year olds: Why has Dr Who got a wobbly bum? *sings to the Dr Who theme tune* A wobbly-bum a wobbly-bum a wobbly bum a wobbly bum a oooh! etc etc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152041 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 15:23:20 +0000 cinquecento 152041@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>can you do a please follow up about Dr Who's proctologist? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152040 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 15:14:19 +0000 malgor 152040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. Expect to see this on the FP in the Archive slot at some time earlier this year, 'originally posted 1 April 2056'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-152000 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 10:40:53 +0000 Boutros 152000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent.<br /> I'm surprised a dalek didn't drop in to unblock the toilet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151998 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 10:32:22 +0000 Nowherefast 151998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Forced me into a chuckle loop.. many stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151988 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 09:21:44 +0000 Dick Everyman 151988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant (White) stuff but not a Dalek in sight, then they never were any good with a paint brush...</p> <p>***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151986 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 09:00:23 +0000 pinxit 151986@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely. Really excellent concept with endless possibilites...</p> <p>Starrrzzzz. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151985 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 08:58:39 +0000 dvo4fun 151985@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine from start to finish Quaz</p> <p>" I popped out for a rolly in 1066 and almost got burnt as a Witch" lovely </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151975 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 08:09:47 +0000 waylandsmithy 151975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Superb! Great idea! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151973 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 07:58:36 +0000 DustyBinLaden 151973@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great. Stars of the future. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52767#post-151957 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 01:07:53 +0000 Quaz 151957@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An interior decorator employed by a man known only as “The Doctor” is starting a legal case against him after his initial assessment of the job ended up taking far longer than he had been led to believe.</p> <p>“He turned up in this blue box and asked how much I would charge to paint the skirting boards and wallpaper it. I took a quick look at the outside, and quoted him for half a day. Once I turned up and went inside, it was much bigger, with multiple rooms. The swimming pool cum library alone was a nightmare job, we had to get in scaffolding.” complained the contractor. “I ended up spending six months on the job, although he did drop me off half a day after I started, so I didn’t lose any work and the missus didn’t wonder where I’d been.”</p> <p>The Doctor has been taken to court under charges breaches of contractual law and false imprisonment. “Don’t get me wrong” said Dave Brown, the Plaintiff. “He always knocked up a decent fried breakfast in the morning, but it was strictly no smoking onboard and since he was frequently in the Time Vortex or in Outer Space, it made nipping out for a roll-up a bit tricky. I popped out for a rolly in 1066 and almost got burnt as a Witch. He’s a diamond geezer, but he never mentioned that we might almost have our brains chopped out by Cybermen. That’s basic risk assessment “.</p> <p>“I was able to cut a few corners in the Cloister room, because it’s mostly stonework, but the dressing room was a pain because I had to shift of all his outfits to a bedroom before I could put the sheets down and start.” said Dave. “I spent an entire day doing one bedroom, then his assistant got trapped in a parallel universe and he deleted the room. I was gutted!”.</p> <p>Dave maintains that he is willing to settle out of court for “That planet made of diamond”, while the legal system on Earth keeps him in a secure unit and pumps him full of drugs. </p>