http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 06:37:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151252 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 13:12:08 +0000 Tripod 151252@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Cracking punchline. Back in the very old days when Punch was funny I remember one of my favourite cartoons was a clown saying to the mechanic at a garage "When I turn on the lights the doors don't fall off". V fumny concept well executed. Stars a plenty </blockquote></p> <p>My dad used to have a bound set of old Punch mags, going back to before WWI, which was my first source of humorous writing. If you make allowances for the age, there was some funny stuff... even if it took ages to get to the punchline (which was probably "...collapse of stout party"). The cartoons were beautifully drawn, each one a miniature masterpiece of copperplate engraving... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151249 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:42:01 +0000 beau-jolly 151249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cracking punchline. Back in the <em>very</em> old days when Punch was funny I remember one of my favourite cartoons was a clown saying to the mechanic at a garage "When I turn on the lights the doors don't fall off". V fumny concept well executed. Stars a plenty </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151240 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:01:37 +0000 Boutros 151240@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've had to log back in to post some more stars.<br /> There.<br /> Logging back out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151211 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 09:15:42 +0000 Dick Everyman 151211@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>.....I want a car that falls apart as soon as I turn the ignition key”.</p> <p>I can sell him one of those! Colourful, daft and very funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151148 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:14:33 +0000 malgor 151148@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A nice modern twist to the story which makes an interesting comparison with <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/04/11/clown-car-launched/">this classic</a> (from over 5 years ago - hardly topic overkill.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151146 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:04:49 +0000 Tripod 151146@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>clown cars have been covered before</blockquote></p> <p>Making colourful covers for clown cars: that sounds like a business opportunity. "An end to to wet clown car misery"... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151145 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:01:31 +0000 antharrison 151145@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. NB is a great site for clown stories and clown cars have been covered before, but this is a new angle. Well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151137 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:02:37 +0000 button 151137@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52508#post-151134 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:07:13 +0000 Tripod 151134@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Responding to a campaign by dissatisfied owners, the Acme Clown Car Company is recalling some of its cars. The vehicle recall affects clown cars in the prestigious Barnum &amp; Bailey range, which rolled off the production line between the years 2007 and 2009. </p> <p>“The cars suffer from a major flaw”, one owner, Joey, complained, making a sad face. “An unnerving tendency to drive in a straight line. Also the doors never fall off, and the engine simply refuses to explode in a shower of streamers and confetti”. Coco is another unhappy owner of a faulty clown car. “It’s about as funny as a dose of herpes”, he said, as he pretended to walk into an imaginary wind. “I don’t want a car that’s ‘ergonomic’ and ‘wind-tunnel tested’; I want a car that falls apart as soon as I turn the ignition key”. </p> <p>Joseph Grimaldi, embattled CEO of the Acme Clown Car Company, agreed that there had been problems with the Barnum &amp; Bailey range. “We had high hopes for the cars - you could have any colour you wanted, as long as it was yellow with pink polka-dots - but in tests they consistently failed to meet the CHT, the Clown Hilarity Threshold. In layman’s terms, they just weren't funny enough. OK, the hooters played <em>Colonel Bogey</em>, if you squeezed them in the right order. And they were economical to run: you'd get more than 50mpg on just one bucketful of custard. But the kids weren't laughing like they used to do. </p> <p>"We’ve taken a lot of flack over this”, he admitted, pushing a tiny hat, with a flower sticking out, to the back of his head, “and it’s going to cost us an arm and a leg”. The Acme Clown Car Company is a long-established family firm, started by Joseph’s father, Otto, back in 1951, when he combined his love of whoopee cushions and whey-faced mime with a desire to make the finest clown cars that money could buy. But these are difficult times to be in the funny car business. "It's been hard", he acknowledged, "trying to keep all the balls in the air". And now, unsurprisingly, Joseph feels the weight of that paternal expectation. “He was a great man, my father, and these are big shoes to fill”. He looked down, despondently, the grease-paint starting to run. “<em>Really</em> big”... </p>