http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52440 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:44:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52440#post-150950 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:24:13 +0000 dvo4fun 150950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No actual snorting-at-the-screen here at 4fun towers but I liked it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52440#post-150924 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 12:07:02 +0000 beagle 150924@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The distraught family of Bert Smythe who died in 1992, aged 82, are coming to terms with the news that he wasn't a child abuser.</p> <p>"We are distraught" said one family member who preferred to remain anonymous "There had always been stories in the family about Bert being 'OK' but we never suspected he might never have not been up to no good."</p> <p>Derek Turtlewax was one of those who was never abused by Bert.</p> <p>"I must have been about nine and went for a sleep-over at Uncle Bert's. I remember one evening Bert walking into the bedroom with a book. He sat on the end of the bed and read to me for about half an hour before tucking in the sheets and going downstairs to read his newspaper. I went to sleep. The next day I tried not to forget about it altogether but I couldn't, so I forgot about it. I tried telling my Mum that I felt 'normal' but she didn't believe me. I can't tell you the damage that man never did to me."</p> <p>"We thought it was just tittle-tattle because they were jealous of him" said the family "But looking back it now, it seems a bit odd that the family's children never called him 'a nonce'. They all wanted to sleep over at Bert's. They used to call it 'the safe house'. Tragically, we now know why." </p>