http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5243 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 16:38:28 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5243#post-14378 Fri, 28 May 2010 11:16:53 +0000 Darkbill 2.0 14378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lord Mandelson today announced his intention to leave planet Earth and return to his homeworld of Mongo, declaring, ‘my work here is done’.</p> <p>As a member of the House of Lords he is unable to face his opposite number in the Commons, and this is believed to have prompted his decision to give up human form.</p> <p>In a prepared statement, Lord Mandelson said: “After serious consideration I have decided that the time has come for me to leave you all and return to the stars. I have grown reasonably fond of you primitive bipeds, but I regret I will not be around to further manipulate your destiny.</p> <p>"I have contacted my mothership and volcanic ash permitting it should arrive to collect me on Tuesday. Farewell, puny humans. We Mongoids have an old saying, which is Klaatu, Barada, Nikto, meaning 'So long and thanks for all the nice suits'.”</p> <p>Prior to the election Lord Mandelson warned that if mankind did not heed his warnings and vote accordingly he would make the earth stand still. Subsequently a series of walkouts and strikes by British workers have demonstrated the seriousness of this threat.</p> <p>Lord Mandelson will leave behind his large robotic drone Gordo as a permanent reminder to the human race of their insignificance in the galactic scheme of things. </p>