http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52263 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 20:55:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52263#post-171189 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:44:20 +0000 Tripod 171189@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oof, double spam. Reminds me of school dinners... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52263#post-150810 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:39:39 +0000 Matt T 150810@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>LOL </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52263#post-150518 Sun, 25 Nov 2012 10:43:56 +0000 Landfill 150518@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If I were him, I'd be happy enough just to be back on the telly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52263#post-150448 Sat, 24 Nov 2012 13:24:43 +0000 Matt T 150448@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well-known non-paedophile, Lord McAlpine, is to check inside the brain of all UK residents for any thoughts that he’s a kiddy-fiddler, and then financially ruin them, his solicitor Andrew Reid announced today.</p> <p>“Lord McAlpine has already made known that he plans to destroy everybody who named him on Twitter, but we feel this doesn’t go far enough,” said Reid. “That’s why we’ve also extended our campaign to include anyone who read the offending tweets, even if they immediately forgot them, as well as anyone who can spell the word Twitter.”</p> <p>“We already have software that is scanning the rest of the internet for any mention of his Lordship, including anagrams of his name and this has already led to writs against Countdown and the late Richard Whiteley, but from today onwards we will also be using a Think-o-Tron 3000 Brainwave Scanner which can electromagnetically read the innermost thoughts of everyone in the mainland UK (except Nadine Dorries, who just makes it omit an unpleasant whine).</p> <p>Asked whether he thought Lord McAlpine’s campaign to hunt down and punish the entire population was terrifyingly Kafka-esque, Reid replied, “We know where you live.”</p> <p>Free speech was unavailable for comment. </p>