http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 18:49:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150237 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:42:28 +0000 sigmund 150237@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote> The more culturally irrelevant and out-of-touch these ridiculous, poisonous institutions become the faster they will atrophy and disappear.</blockquote><br /> Only to be replaced by Islam, I suspect. I'm off for a pint, while I still can. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150210 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 11:27:31 +0000 Qoxiivi 150210@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In some ways I'm glad they voted 'no'. The more culturally irrelevant and out-of-touch these ridiculous, poisonous institutions become the faster they will atrophy and disappear. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150201 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:48:42 +0000 Yikes 150201@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I suppose everything that highlights the nonsensical nature of the no vote is good!</p> <p>Of course the vote itself was self-satirising ... they made themselves look sillier than we ever could! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150200 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:47:31 +0000 DustyBinLaden 150200@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Besides, I'm a recovering catholic. It's part of my therapy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150199 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:44:06 +0000 DustyBinLaden 150199@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Yikes: you could well be right, and that's always a concern when writing satire - that illustrating the point through extreme written caricature basically damns all those who, for example, voted yes to women bishops. I suppose my standpoint is that nothing I could write would be as harsh as the real-life debacle that is modern religious intolerance and violence. I would like to think that those who have faith and read this would see that I'm having a pop at those they also oppose, but maybe not. I'll take my chances. It is, after all, told from the point of one ranting bishop supposed to represent the evangelical minority who scuppered the vote. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150194 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:33:26 +0000 Yikes 150194@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Probably just me having a sensitive moment and most probably I'm wrong but I'm not sure this works ... some of the language just seems very direct and, well, overly harsh ...</p> <p>Jeepers I sound like a prude! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150190 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:24:00 +0000 Squudge 150190@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>completely fabulous. 5 </p> <p>The only tiny tweak I'd do is to delete the word 'boxer' from the mid section. It doesn't add anything for me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150188 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:10:03 +0000 godly1966 150188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>five stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150186 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:07:13 +0000 Oxbridge 150186@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Someone else, I can't remember who or where, did the argument against on the basis that women would look ridiculous standing there in a big purple frock. Could work that in? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150185 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:06:50 +0000 FlashArry 150185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice re-write - ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150176 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 08:17:12 +0000 DustyBinLaden 150176@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Take 2 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52177#post-150175 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 08:16:34 +0000 DustyBinLaden 150175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Women are going to need to seriously ‘man up’ before they’re given a shot at the top jobs in the church, claims a leading bishop.</p> <p>‘Women just don’t make great paedophiles, queer bashers or warmongers,’ commented the Right Reverend Charles McGregor, Bishop of Dartford, who voted against the ordination of women bishops.</p> <p>Bishop McGregor is a member of Reform, the Evangelical pressure group committed to reforming the church back to where it started in 1534.</p> <p>‘We believe in the sanctity of secret relationships between god-fearing priests and priest-fearing children, zero tolerance on benders and lezzers, and the right to rain bombs down from the sky using giant flying machines built by men for men. The only way we’re going to achieve that is by having men in charge of things. </p> <p>‘In this respect, all of the major religions of the world are agreed. Of course, that doesn’t stop us from regularly going postal on each other over who has the best god (even though my god <em>is</em> actually champion boxer of the world).</p> <p>‘The last thing we need is the fairer sex coming in and ruining things, smelling of scones and with their soft hair and those bumps on their chest. They bleed, you know. Once a month, from their vaginas.’</p> <p>The Church of England is exempt from laws on equality, but this is now being questioned again by opponents who believe the church should fall into line with the rest of the country in not being allowed to discriminate on the grounds of race, gender or sexuality.</p> <p>‘Spoilsports and bottom-defiling homos, the lot of them,’ said Bishop McGregor. ‘Using selective scripture to promote our hypocritical moral myopia is what we do best.’</p> <p>The Reverend Lucy Winkett, who would have been a contender for ordination as a bishop, said that the Church of England Synod was ‘detonating its credibility with contemporary Britain.’</p> <p>‘I’m pretty certain she’s a witch, and worse, possibly even a lesbian,’ responded Bishop McGregor. </p> <p>‘She brings baby sandwiches to work. Or maybe they’re haslet. Either way, that, my friend, is pure evil in a dress.’ </p>