http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52042 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 17:53:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52042#post-149795 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 10:02:16 +0000 Tripod 149795@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They're both funny... and depressingly true... Stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52042#post-149791 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 09:55:33 +0000 Screenie 149791@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only difference being yours is longer better written and more amusing. So I'm rather happy with your 'great minds' comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52042#post-149790 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 09:53:21 +0000 Oxbridge 149790@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great minds strike again. I was writing this exactly as Screenie did his and finished less than a minute later. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52042#post-149789 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 09:51:37 +0000 Oxbridge 149789@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chelsea FC have announced that manager Pep Guardiola, who was appointed manager in November 2012 when Roberto di Matteo was sacked following a disappointing result in the Champions League, will be sacked in October 2013.</p> <p>'Pep will have done a great job in bringing us to a second place finish in the league last season,' the club said in an official statement, 'but, in the light of an unacceptably difficult 2-2 draw away with Sunderland on 24 October, we will feel it will then be time to move forward with a new name.'</p> <p>Guardiola, who will be in line for a £40 million pay-off under the terms of his contract, will have taken over a team that was in third place behind Manchester United and Manchester City. He will then have set about investing £189 million bringing in new blood in the form of Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale, Lionel Messi and the entire Brazil first team. However, we will have at times struggled to get the new team to gel, despite winning the FA Cup final when opponents Newcastle will have decided not to bother.</p> <p>'We will wish Pep Guardiola all the best in his future career, as he will have done a fantastic job,' said Chelsea chairman Bruce Buck. 'However, all good things will have to come to an end and we will have identified a fantastic new manager in Jose Mourinho, who has done a fantastic job at Real Madrid and will bring all the right attributes that the club needs as it goes forward into ... what? He WAS? Oh...'</p> <p>In a separate statement, Chelsea confirmed that it will have no plans to replace John Terry as club captain in January 2016. It will also be making no comment on allegations that he will be under arrest in Washington DC after making unspecified gestures at Barack Ohama during an official England visit to the White House, not on any supposed resemblance between Terry and the new-born children of Frank Lampard, Petr Cech and the man who locks up the club shop on match days. </p>