http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51992 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 18:51:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51992#post-149693 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:54:02 +0000 Anonymous 149693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>enjoyed this...</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51992#post-149691 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:36:09 +0000 Tripod 149691@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“This may be news to you people”, said Graham, as he swung to and fro from a tyre, suspended from the branch of a tree in his bare enclosure, “but not to us. Apes get mid-life crises too, mostly because we’re stuck here in this miserable fucking zoo while kids throw peanuts at us. </p> <p>“A cousin of mine is dancing for a barrel-organist in Minsk. He emailed me recently and said his life was ‘shit’. It’s hard to ride a tricycle, in a suit and hat, and keep your dignity. My uncle Barney was one of the original Brooke Bond PG Tips chimps, shooting two adverts a month, until the bastards sacked him for ‘slurping his tea’ and 'smacking his lips'. No wonder we’re depressed. </p> <p>“Jesus H Christ, what’s wrong with you people? You keep us here against our will, just for your idle amusement, even though humans and chimpanzees differ in their genetic make-up by only 1%. We're not slaves... we're <em>family</em>. These opposable thumbs aren’t just for show, you know. Once we get out of here, and form a guerrilla army, <em>homo sapiens</em> is history. <em>History</em>, man”... </p>