http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51939 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 19:37:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51939#post-149673 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 12:50:00 +0000 Jonny Shlep 149673@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shish thanks mate, but there's no need to make a meal of it for tuck's sake. I hope you're not trying to curry favour!</p> <p>Sorry about that folks. It's been a long old morning :( </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51939#post-149590 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 22:04:41 +0000 Squudge 149590@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>what a pitta<br /> never mind</p> <p>...worth a ticker at the very least </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51939#post-149517 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 12:30:39 +0000 Jonny Shlep 149517@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There were fresh calls for an immediate ceasefire in the war torn Middle East last night after an Israeli F16 jet fighter targeted and destroyed a kebab shop in Upton Park East London leaving the proprietor and 12 customers dead.</p> <p>It is believed the tragic mix up occurred when the pilot was told to "Get me some hummus" by his flight commander who merely wanted him to bring him over a snack from the canteen after ending his sortie over Palestine.</p> <p>A witness to the carnage was Tony Summers, the owner of a greengrocers just across the road from the stricken fast food shop.</p> <p>"It was absolutely diabolical to be honest" said Mr Summers 57 "I was just arranging a few oranges in the display outside the shop when this fighter jet came screaming in and launched a missile which absolutely flattened the kebab place. The poor bastards inside never stood a chance. It's an absolute tragedy for the whole community and a downright diabolical liberty.</p> <p>" Tariq, the geezer who owned it, was an absolute diamond and did the best donner with chili sauce and hummus for miles around. Gawd knows what I'm going to do at lunchtimes now. I'll probably have to get the old woman to make me a packed lunch or something. Absolutely bloody terrible!"</p> <p>The Israeli airforce issued a brief statement last night.</p> <p>"While we deeply regret this terrible tragedy and send our condolences to the families of all those affected we'd like to reiterate that we only target military installations or crowded blocks of flats which may or may not have the odd Palestinian terrorist living there and that regrettably there will always be a degree of collateral damage, whether it be a school, a mosque or even as we saw on this occasion, the odd snack bar thousands of miles from the theatre of war so we're sorry about that"</p> <p>A memorial service for the dead is to be held on Thursday at the East London Church Of Christ, Spitalfields with a free fish supper thrown in afterwards. </p>