http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:38:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149496 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 09:28:38 +0000 Sinnick 149496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Amazing - there are 2 balls on the pitch !"<br /> "There's a handbag moment - the argument has blown up out of all proportion !"</p> <p>Great sub, Yikes, hope to see it as a Left Alert soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149452 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 22:17:37 +0000 Yikes 149452@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agree with comments ... missed a trick with the home ground thing! Rewrite of first para ...</p> <p>Welcome to Gaza for live coverage of the Israel – Palestine international, one of the oldest fixtures on the calendar. The match should be keenly contested with both sides claiming it is a home game. While the irregular 'strip shaped' pitch might be a leveller, Israel is unbeaten against Arab opposition since 1948. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149444 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 21:37:22 +0000 Squudge 149444@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like Yikes suggested concept of the second half collapse due to the (inadvertent) unifying effect of the 'bastard in the black' ...a bit like that WWII film where the crowd invades the pitch and everyone escapes under the gaze of the discombobulated Nazis </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149440 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 21:23:04 +0000 Ironduke 149440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, would that be the Gaza Home Strip, or the Gaza Away Strip? I believe it is a matter of a little debate...</p> <p>and by the way, is Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne any use? (in the comedy sense, not in the 'talking down murderers with cold roast chicken and a fishing rod' sense) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149439 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 21:19:09 +0000 quango 149439@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really liking the new Gaza strip, looks terrific... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149434 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 19:21:41 +0000 Yikes 149434@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for comments guys.</p> <p>Yes Squudge I should have that in there ... maybe replacing last sentence in 32" with something like 'The frustrated Palestinian fans chant 'the referees a w**nker' and, in a rare moment of unity, the neutrals and most of the Israelis join in.'</p> <p>And perhaps that could be the denouncement of the 2nd half - in the end the two teams realise they hate Blair more than each other and agree to end hostilities ... then Blair would be the 'peacemaker' ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149382 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:26:03 +0000 Squudge 149382@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>&lt;singing&gt;</em> ♪♫ ...The REFEREEEE'S A <strong>B@STARD</strong>....♪♫</p> <p>...and yes, wait, it does seem the supporters from both teams are singing this. Well, what can you expect from such a tense derby match? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149378 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:09:59 +0000 antharrison 149378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely - esp Blair </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149374 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 10:54:08 +0000 Dick Everyman 149374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ditto ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149372 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 10:28:07 +0000 godly1966 149372@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>five stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51890#post-149371 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 10:19:09 +0000 Yikes 149371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Welcome to the Israel / Gaza border for live coverage of the Israel – Palestine international, one of the oldest fixtures on the calendar. The match oozes history and is expected to be keenly contested though Israel has started favourites in every contest since 1939. The one levelling factor might be the irregular shaped pitch with Israel’s half being 20,000 square kilometres, while Palestine’s is a 360 square kilometre strip.</p> <p>The big team news is that thanks to a huge cash injection from its American backer, Israel is fielding a formidable strike force of Messi, Ronaldo, and Rooney. With captain Netanyahu and Terry in midfield, and a home grown ‘Iron Dome’ defence, they look a match for anyone.</p> <p>For their part, Palestine are going through a rebuilding phase with many leading players losing interest in football and retiring. Their best hope is that their young recruits from Iran play out of their skin and leave it all out on the pitch.</p> <p>1” Referee Tony Blair blows the whistle and Israel have possession. The opening minutes are all Israel as they launch an aerial bombardment from their own half. It’s precision stuff but Israel may be missing a Peter Crouch type player (but with coordination) up front.</p> <p>7” GOAL! 1-0. Scenes of carnage as Netanyahu blindsides the Palestinian captain Al-Jaabari with a flying two-footed tackle. Referee Blair inexplicably waves play on and Ronaldo lobs the keeper from 38 kilometres out for the opening goal. Al-Jaabari is stretchered off with what looks like a career ending injury.</p> <p>17” Palestine are all fired up after the loss of their leader and enjoy a good spell where they too try the aerial route. However most of their kicks are ill-directed with one hitting a hot dog vendor in the crowd splattering tomato sauce over some of their own supporters.</p> <p>23” GOAL! 2-0. Blair misses a possible offside to the disgust of the Palestinians and the neutrals, and the long ball from Terry leaves Rooney clear on goal from 18 kilometres out – he makes no mistake. One of the Iranian imports blows up at the ref but Blair manages to dodge the shrapnel and body parts.</p> <p>32” It is all Israel at the moment and their support is in full flight chanting ‘we’re on our way to Jerusalem’ and ‘Hamas takes it up the arse’. Palestine really need to find ways to kick the ball further and straighter or else they might as well give up.</p> <p>45” PENALTY! Further chaos in what is an ill-tempered match as Blair points to the spot saying Palestine have an illegal weapon of mass destruction on their bench – the Palestinians protest that it is only Emile Heskey but the referee is unmoved. Messi takes the penalty and MISSES!</p> <p>HALF TIME. Despite their aerial dominance, there are rumours that Israel will change tack and field 75,000 reservists in the second half. It looks like it will be a tough day at the office for Palestine. </p>