http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5164 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:52:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5164#post-14238 Thu, 27 May 2010 13:10:28 +0000 Mr Glover Lover 14238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apple to launch new Pirate app - the iPatch. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5164#post-14192 Thu, 27 May 2010 04:10:03 +0000 ED209 14192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Steve Jobs today unveiled Apple's iTopMyself app, which allows users to download personalised suicide videos of the people who actually made their phone.</p> <p>Previously, users had to make do with generalised news reports of workers throwing themselves off roofs, but the new app will allow iPhone owners to enjoy watching the suicide of the specific workers who've made their phones - after working in complete silence for 6months in an environment specifically designed to destroy their mental health and ensure slavish obedience and/or suicide.</p> <p>The new app is expected to open the floodgates in the sector, with other firms to follow suit. Manchester United is poised to launch iSlap, which will allow the purchasers of their kit to use a robotic arm to slap impoverished, barefoot children in sweatshops. Kraft has also been signed up to produce the iSack, which allows Cadbury customers to remotely serve a redundancy letter on a low-income, unskilled industrial worker in an unemployment blackspot. </p>