http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51553 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 19:17:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51553#post-148344 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 08:18:29 +0000 Gerontius 148344@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A man from Mespotamia is said to be devastated following reports that his wife may have been accidentally licked to death by a cow.<br /> The couple, a Mr &amp; Mrs Lot from the Chaldees area had been on the road to Zoar when Mrs.Lot fell ill.<br /> But unfortunately for the Lots the road to Zoar is a notorious blackspot for mobile phone reception and Mr.Lot was unable to raise the alarm.<br /> Despite repeated efforts to resuscitate his wife Mr.Lot was unable to find a pulse and was forced to leave his wife at the roadside and continue his journey in search of help.<br /> Angels investigating the incident say they think the cow may have mistaken Mrs.Lot for a nutritional food supplement, not realising she was the wife of Abraham’s nephew.<br /> When rescue teams reached Mrs Lot all that was left was part of an arm and the lower left leg<br /> The angels think it would have taken the cow several days to lick Mrs.Lot to death but tried to console her husband, saying it would have been a slow but not totally unpleasant way to die<br /> One eye-witness told of seeing a cow licking what appeared to be a crystalline mineral sex toy but did not make the connection with Mr.Lot’s recently calcified wife.<br /> Neighbours say Mr.Lot was now at home being comforted by his daughters and asked not to be disturbed ....at least not for the next couple of hours while the curtains are drawn. </p>