http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51252 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 22:40:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51252#post-147532 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 20:11:25 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 147532@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Speaking from a cave in Costa Rica, a prominent Reptilian today disassociated himself from all things human related. Including the US Presidential elections, the Jimmy Savile paedophile scandal, and Nadine Dorries going into 'I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!'</p> <p>"It's that fucking David Icke," the Reptilian rasped from a recessed place of dark shadow. "He's a pain in the fucking arse. That dickhead blames us for everything that's wrong with the world. Quite frankly, I'd have him bumped off. But I'm not as all-powerful as he's led people to believe. Otherwise I would have done it years ago. Trust me."</p> <p>Continuing in a similar vein, the Reptilian hissed: "We didn't know what we were getting into. We picked up Gary Glitter singing 'Wanna Be In My Gang?' on our intergalactic multidimensional scanner. And it seemed a fair enough invitation. Like PPI and Jim'll Fix It. Had we known what we were getting into, we wouldn't have gone near it with a shitty stick."</p> <p>The Reptilian went on to claim that his fellow Reptilians had no connection whatsoever with 'any of that crap' - specifically mentioning (yet again) the US Election, which he branded: 'The blind leading the stupid,' and Conservative MP Nadine Dorries going into the jungle with Ant and Dec, on a long overdue ego trip, not to mention the Yorkshire Ripper defending Jimmy Savile's honour. </p> <p>"Even David Icke would struggle to get people to believe this crap," he said in closing. </p>