http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5125 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:14:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5125#post-14092 Wed, 26 May 2010 10:18:02 +0000 wallster 14092@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scientists at Oxford University have concluded a decade long study into the effects of youthful anti-social behaviour on local residents' sexual orientation.</p> <p>Since 1997, the number of children running riot on Britain's streets has increased more than 10 fold, with drug taking, binge drinking, vandalism and a general increase in yobbish behaviour causing great stress to local residents, reducing house prices and ultimately resulting in an unwelcome return to Tory government.</p> <p>The study has found that social groups living under and around these stressful circumstances have increasingly turned to homosexuality in a subconscious effort to avoid creating further generations of uneducated, unwanted, slack trousered scumbags.</p> <p>"Middle England has become a hotbed of tuppence licking, rug munching, shirt lifting benders" said Professor Boris de Pfeffel Johnson-Alexander of St. Cameron's College Oxford, who carried out the study.</p> <p>"Our study shows that middle class British men are genetically programmed to prefer eating cock to watching pimped up Vauxhall Corsas perform doughnuts up the high street on a Saturday night".</p> <p>Meanwhile the Daily Mail is being forced to defend itself following a spelling mistake in an earlier edition of the front page article. Lawyers for the American actor Will Ferrel are looking to pursue charges for libellous claims of extreme sexual misbehaviour. </p>