http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 06:33:24 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146796 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 15:18:05 +0000 dvo4fun 146796@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ah, Pinxit - could you sort a picture for that idea? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146793 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 14:40:34 +0000 pinxit 146793@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146742 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 05:29:50 +0000 Squudge 146742@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>agrees with Yikes, still loving the headline<br /> and can see Hammond doing a Southgate...</p> <p>&lt;rubbish singing ♪♫ .."Eleven years of hurt..." etc&gt;<br /> (Cross-hairs on our shirts) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146720 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 23:57:32 +0000 Yikes 146720@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great NiB but could also have been topnotch FP.</p> <p>Heading still makes me laugh each time I see it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146715 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 23:48:01 +0000 dvo4fun 146715@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, fingers in ears but I seem to have got away with it.<br /> The edit made it much funnier even though it was only about a third as long as the original sub. Ho hum </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146713 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 23:18:57 +0000 Ironduke 146713@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oooh, nice to see you're tiptoeing back into the danger zone Dvo.</p> <p>The 'over the line/first time for everything' titterred me right up to the sphincter threshold. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146303 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:22:43 +0000 JakeMustian 146303@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well played </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146287 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 21:47:08 +0000 Squudge 146287@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very astute ending<br /> 5 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146260 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:32:46 +0000 beau-jolly 146260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>..may go to sudden death. Much nastier. Starrage, </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146253 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 16:49:43 +0000 Anonymous 146253@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>top story..</p> <p>"could go all the way"</p> <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146225 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:57:36 +0000 dvo4fun 146225@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Boutros: "Good work, possibly 'over the line'?"</p> <p>Well, there's a first time for everything I suppose </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146209 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 10:54:51 +0000 Boutros 146209@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work, possibly 'over the line'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146199 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 09:47:25 +0000 Gerontius 146199@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well executed.<br /> A possible NeatO tie-in there....'putting back the Glocks' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146198 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 09:40:51 +0000 Yikes 146198@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very very funny! Cracking idea!</p> <p>And great headline! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50744#post-146194 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 09:33:04 +0000 dvo4fun 146194@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With the war drifting towards the end of a somewhat lack-lustre extra-time, Philip Hammond has warned that the likely end will be every UK soldier’s worst nightmare – sudden death penalties. </p> <p>“The lads have given it their best shot for over ten years, or something like that,” said Philip Hammond today “and the country can be proud of them for always giving 110%. But we can’t ignore the lessons of history err... what does ‘the lessons of history’ mean exactly, Geoff? It sounds like bullshit. Are you sure this thing’s turned off?” </p> <p>A military spokesperson stated “Obviously, the boys get a little tetchy when an Afghan Policeman has a pop with a Glock from round the back of the Canon photocopier and scores an ‘own goal’; but there’s no real malice behind it. We always shake hands later - if he’s still alive - and then arrest some of his relatives, ‘by mistake’. No hard feelings, it’s just a bit of banter between professionals.” </p> <p>Hammond sought to put the current conflict into an historical context “Having taken longer than WW1, WW11, Suez &amp; the Falklands combined, the lads would have liked to bring home some silverware. Perhaps march up The Mall like their grandfathers before them, cheering crowds, a quick knee-trembler with a grateful waitress from Lyons Corner House and a Spitfire flypast.” </p> <p>“But to be fair, our main 20th Century opposition wore uniforms and wrote in German on the sides of their planes and tanks. With hindsight, they probably thought that was a dead giveaway but it was a sporting gesture and very helpful to us. Still, they haven’t let us win on penalties since.”</p> <p>Hammond acknowledged the likely end to the match: “Unfortunately we’ve a poor record on shoot-outs” he accepted “apart from Bloody Sunday and that SAS Gibraltar-thingy obviously. And even then we came in for a bit of stick, just because the others didn’t have guns or some such nonsense. So, with Afghanistan we’ll probably settle for the satisfaction of a job well done; it’s not so much about winning, as taking part. Churchill said that, I think.”</p> <p>“We’d like to bring on one or more of our six Subs, but they don’t perform well in the desert for some reason.” </p>