http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50666 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 01:43:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50666#post-146028 Sat, 27 Oct 2012 15:17:58 +0000 wwwiz 146028@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Republicans today asked American voters if they wouldn't mind turning their clocks back "an extra 80 years" the morning of November 4 in preparation for election day the following Tuesday.</p> <p>Presidential candidate Mitt Romney said he was excited about the mass revisionism of his campaign that earned him the Republican nomination for President, which has been dubbed "The Great Leap Backward".</p> <p>"By election day, November 6, I confidently predict our entire country will be waking up to 1932 and the values of the Hoover administration," said Mr. Romney. "We’ve done all the necessary groundwork – some of it essential such as laying off vast numbers of people, and some of it frankly less enjoyable such as amending our positions on women's rights and appearing to backpedal on tax cuts by saying we will close unspecified tax loopholes."</p> <p>Romney was flanked by his running mate Paul Ryan, who was wearing pleated golf knickers and a tweed cap and checking the time by consulting his large pocket watch.</p> <p>Mark Harrison, a behavioural scientist at Brigham Young University, said, "While many people will look at these changes as nothing more than an excuse for a crafty extra eighty years in bed, we have to expect that unemployment will rise, the gap between rich and poor will widen and that greed will once again be considered the norm.</p> <p>"But on the plus side, Shirley Temple will only be a cute toddler beginning her film career, so we won't yet know that she will grow up to be a right- wing Republican supporting the Vietnam war."</p> <p>For their part, Democrats said they supported the change. "There is every reason Americans should vote for the our party's candidate for president in the same proportion that they voted for the Democrat in 1932," said President Obama.</p> <p>[With more than a tip of the hat to one from the archives - "Cameron reminds UK public to turn the clock back 30 years."] </p>