http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 08:49:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145620 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 08:45:10 +0000 Boutros 145620@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Was expecting this to be FP by now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145537 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 20:18:11 +0000 Ludicity 145537@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks everyone. Most lovely of you. Please accept a brightly coloured sugar pill that guarantees eternal happiness. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145512 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 15:38:04 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 145512@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145486 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:44:10 +0000 AReader 145486@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>These two produced snorts from me</p> <p><blockquote>Pilot studies show that half the patients who attended a placebo hospital imagined they were better and went home; meanwhile the other half had a failure of imagination and died on the spot. ‘Either way it’s a win-win,’ said Hunt.</p> <p>The Health Secretary is a well-known supporter of alternative treatments and is believed to be using the theory of homeopathy to help design a massively watered down health service that operates purely on the memory of the NHS</blockquote> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145477 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:55:09 +0000 Oxbridge 145477@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant stuff, damn you sir. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145466 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:06:38 +0000 Screenie 145466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellently well written as we would expect from you. But...</p> <p>Pick me, pick me!</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30525" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30525</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145463 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:54:31 +0000 beau-jolly 145463@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>J good. Max starrage </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145457 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:25:40 +0000 Anonymous 145457@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Snap! How on earth did I miss it too.</p> <p>Which poses a minor query about the headline.. because the story itself is brilliant, beautifully written and will surely appear elsewhere.</p> <p>It's also very funny – and Hunt's such a boring little man. Couldn't they have found someone with more sparkle to launch this magnificent addition to the NHS....</p> <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145454 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:13:17 +0000 Midfield Diamond 145454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How did I miss this? Brilliantly written as ever, well worth some stars and a bump. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145289 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:12:11 +0000 nickb 145289@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant idea. But surely placebo hospitals would have to be paired with real hospitals, with patients not told which they were visiting. Or is that too literal? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145285 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:00:30 +0000 custard cream 145285@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant! Max. stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145280 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:46:07 +0000 reforse 145280@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He has however rejected the option of swapping his MP's private health insurance for a life time supply of water. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145277 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:37:32 +0000 Ironduke 145277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"The Health Secretary is a well-known supporter of alternative treatments and is believed to be using the theory of homeopathy to help design a massively watered down health service that operates purely on the memory of the NHS."</p> <p>brilliant! 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145276 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:28:46 +0000 reforse 145276@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I read that as placenta for a second and expected a hunt/abortion article. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145266 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:24:22 +0000 Boutros 145266@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice<br /> NO, not the institute of clinical excellence. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145263 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:17:47 +0000 Rizzo 145263@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely, ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145262 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:15:06 +0000 Tripod 145262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some homeopathic stars (so small, you'd hardly know they were there...). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145260 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:06:49 +0000 button 145260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ace </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145235 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:42:45 +0000 dvo4fun 145235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Solid gold from start to finish my dear chap. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50374#post-145233 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:37:17 +0000 Ludicity 145233@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s first hospital built entirely on the power of suggestion is to be opened next week as a cost-effective solution to the rising price of healthcare. The Royal London Placebo is totally fabricated, offers no actual treatments and will be manned entirely by extras from TV shows such as Casualty and Holby City. </p> <p>‘Each doctor will have a nice white coat, a plastic stethoscope and a range of brightly coloured sugar pills,’ explained Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt. ‘No expense has been spared,’ he said, ‘except the expense of building an actual hospital with trained staff and equipment.’</p> <p>The Royal Placebo is understood to be the first in a new generation of ‘dummy hospitals’ to be rolled out across the country, allowing the phasing out of the costly old style ‘real’ hospitals of the past.</p> <p>‘The placebo effect can account for up to 75% of the effectiveness of a medical treatment,’ explained Hunt. ‘Rather than waste billions on the current system we can achieve almost the same results for a fraction of the cost.’</p> <p>Pilot studies show that half the patients who attended a placebo hospital imagined they were better and went home; meanwhile the other half had a failure of imagination and died on the spot. ‘Either way it’s a win-win,’ said Hunt.</p> <p>The Health Secretary is a well-known supporter of alternative treatments and is believed to be using the theory of homeopathy to help design a massively watered down health service that operates purely on the memory of the NHS. </p> <p>However, some placebo doctors are already complaining after being told that they will also be expected to run their own imaginary budgets. ‘I can’t pretend to run a pretend budget as well as pretend to be a doctor,’ said one stressed thesp. ‘I’m an actor playing a doctor, not an actor playing a doctor playing at being an accountant.’</p> <p>Mr Hunt rejected claims that the new dummy hospitals represent the effective dismantling of the National Health Service. ‘The important thing to remember is that the placebo remains free at the point of delivery,’ he said. ‘The NHS will still exist as an idea, and sometimes that’s all that people really need. </p> <p>‘Placebos are the future,’ he insisted, ‘although for many that may be a difficult pill to swallow.’ </p>