http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 23:45:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144801 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 20:16:25 +0000 pinxit 144801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yup, Alice in Oikland.</p> <p>Or should that be Iceland?</p> <p>Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144798 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 20:03:58 +0000 Username 144798@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice FP </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144788 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 17:30:45 +0000 WatcherMark 144788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow, can't believe it actually made the front page! Thanks everyone :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144774 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 14:26:16 +0000 quango 144774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This could turn into a series:<br /> "The Adventures of George: George goes to Morrisons"<br /> "George watches Association Football"<br /> "George eats for under a tenner" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144751 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 09:49:35 +0000 tedweasel 144751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>First class work sir, well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144745 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 09:27:50 +0000 Anonymous 144745@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144741 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 09:03:20 +0000 Ironduke 144741@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tip-top-topical-tastic! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144738 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 08:36:58 +0000 button 144738@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great FP! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144726 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 07:48:50 +0000 writinginbsl 144726@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>makes a lovely fp</p> <p>well done mark </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144679 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 21:38:51 +0000 Quaz 144679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stars from a pleb, and proud to be one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50149#post-144655 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:07:22 +0000 WatcherMark 144655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With the news recently revealed that George Osbourne paid for a standard-class ticket before sitting in first-class, the Chancellor has bravely spoken out about the terrifying circumstances that forced him to take such an action.</p> <p><em>"I had decided to sit in standard-class to show that I am really 'just an ordinary guy', albeit one with a mansion and a staff of fifty. This was a chance to really get in touch with the common people, although obviously I intended to claim back the cost of the ticket on my expenses. However I realized as soon as I entered the carriage I had made a monumental mistake"</p> <p>"First, I had to walk past people with the weirdest first names. What kind of monkiers are 'Adidas' or 'Reebok' anyway and why do people wear them on their clothes? Still, everyone seemed to appreciate my presence. They kept pointing at me and whispering, I imagine its nice for them to see someone of my class among them.</p> <p>Then I spotted a chap working on a laptop... it was clearly a cheap one he'd bought from PC World but I thought I could bond with him as I used my tablet to figure out how many hospitals I would need to close to fund next year's party conference. I asked him if he was doing any business proposals or action plan strategies, only for him to inform me that he was 'just playing solitaire'. I immediately mentioned that I was feeling unwell and moved seats."</em></p> <p>Osbourne then proceeded to tell us another ordeal he went through <em>"Soon afterwards, some child starting crying because his mother apparently packed his Power Rangers toys into their suitcase and wouldn't get them out. Just as I was getting used to that, a woman's phone made the most vulgar noise when it began ringing. I've since been informed it's a song called 'Gangnam Style'... I imagine it's what lower-classes listen to when Classic FM isn't working on their radios."</em></p> <p>Then came the last straw for the Chancellor, as the refreshments trolley went past Mr. Osbourne noted that he fancied a nice refreshment; <em>"I asked the woman serving what kind of tea she had. I was quite shaken at this point and was considering if I should drink Earl Grey or Darjeeling when the girl, who I imagine is a single mother, stated that they only served Tetley's. I knew then I <strong>had</strong> to get out of there."</em></p> <p>Osbourne recalled how he made a mad dash up the aisle, shoving the hostess trolley and several passengers aside before he made it through the doors into first-class... and safety.</p> <p><em>"The instant I got there, I felt the most immense relief. Several staff members wrapped me in a warm blanket as I mentioned what had happened. They sat me down in a leather chair, arranged for me a pedicure and got me a nice hot cappuccino. All was well again, but I don't think I'll ever truly get over it.</em></p> <p>Despite this, Osbourne has announced that he doesn't intend to dodge the £130 upgrade fee; <em>"I've already made arrangements for the work experience boy to pay the difference. I'm not the kind of person to avoid my debts"</em>. </p>