http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 19:46:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144145 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 11:56:40 +0000 sigmund 144145@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done Perks.<br /> Did anyone else have to look up Gerhardt Richter? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144120 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:25:55 +0000 beau-jolly 144120@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hugely encouraged by my magnificent wooden spoon. Now inspired to crawl my way to 12th place this week. The only way is up! Well done the rest of you clever bastards! I feel like the Scottish bird with the massive gob off of that X factor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144052 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 21:49:29 +0000 Sinnick 144052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very disappointed that my concrete jangle jangle didn't get a mention, but on the other hand rather pleased that someone explained my anagram to me.</p> <p>Perks, well done you bastard. No offence. Much. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144039 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 21:09:31 +0000 Midfield Diamond 144039@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very flattered and totally magnanimous in defeat to an absolute snorter that clearly won by a country mile - or perhaps that should be an urban street. Congrats Perks </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144035 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 20:58:18 +0000 Perks 144035@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow, thank you very much. Thanks for all for your kind comments on the sub, and well done everyone in the top 13. This is the first thing I have won that wasn't advertised in a Sunday newspaper supplement and involve a premium rate phone line. A good NEAT-O week thanks to malgor and delivered with such passion. I will just wipe your golden shower from my eyes and take a firm grip of the NOB with pride, and not take lightly the responsibility that comes with it. </p> <p> I will let everyone know the next NEAT-O tomorrow, at about 1PM, unless it rains. Then I may have an inspection at 1:45pm where I will throw some pointless words around until calling it off for 24 hours. If it's good enough for FIFA then it's good enough for me, so to that end any bribes will also be welcomed (allegedly ish)</p> <p>The good news is that I think I have the topic ready, I just need to check one thing, is it 1 or 2 L's in Jimmy's surname??? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144028 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 20:28:01 +0000 Username 144028@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Greypiece! ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144013 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:52:21 +0000 charlies_hat 144013@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perfect judgement, the top 3 were top class. 4th was a fluke. Good work all neat-o's! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144010 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:39:37 +0000 The All New Jeni B 144010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A well deserved and clear cut winner, well done Perks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144009 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:25:38 +0000 Squudge 144009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bravo Perks!</p> <p>The Longleat Monkeys are eyeing Malgor's hubcaps </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144008 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:19:24 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 144008@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done Perks, nicely done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49915#post-144007 Tue, 16 Oct 2012 17:43:23 +0000 malgor 144007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you all for your entries. I now have sufficient material for my forthcoming book on urban architecture and how the dull, monochrome nature of city landscapes impacts on society. I’m calling it ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.</p> <p>There isn’t time to acknowledge every single submission but I’d like to mention a few in the following particular order, starting with the one-liners:</p> <p>13th New RSPB signature tune described as a "Corncrake jingle" (beau-jolly)<br /> I liked this. I found it interesting getting my mind to think ‘concrete jungle’ while actually pronouncing it ‘corncrake jingle’. In the end, it’s not hugely funny but it kept me amused for a while.</p> <p>12th Urbane Gorilla's to be released into London's concrete jungles (simonjmr)<br /> I thought this was a clever use of ‘urbane gorilla’. Unfortunately, the line was ruined by a stray apostrophe, which left me wondering ‘urbane gorilla’s what?’ Their breath? The smell of their farts? Their offspring?</p> <p>Joint 10th<br /> Tarmac Ltd set up Zanzibar base for new deforestation/road-building project; they just have to think of a name. (Idiot)<br /> I liked this ‘reverse’ approach. I thought the format was worth expanding into a longer piece; then, hey presto, Gerontius comes up with a similar angle in an interesting article about Guns n Roses:<br /> Welcome to the Mall (Gerontius)<br /> and I realised I was wrong. But jolly good fun nevertheless.</p> <p>Then, in the Sunday Times crossword section, three entries share 7th slot:<br /> Ancient Calcified Forest Found To Be Modern Fake (The All New Jeni B)<br /> Heraklion rainforest experience slated (FlashArry)<br /> and<br /> Reject Clone Gnu (Sinnick)<br /> Sinnick’s entry is rather brilliant. It’s an anagram, you see, of ‘concrete jungle’ AND, at the same time, it’s a warning about what you might finish up with if you tamper too much with Nature. </p> <p>6th slot goes to<br /> CONCRETE JUNGLE BLAMED FOR WOODPECKER DEATHS (The Secret Cabal)<br /> DIAL 999, MY SIDES HAVE SPLIT</p> <p>And in 5th<br /> Concrete jungle tougher to crack than abstract expressionism (sigmund)<br /> Nice. A Gerhardt Richter gag. Very intellectual.</p> <p>Unplaced:<br /> New tower named ‘The Turd’ to grace London skyline (Des and Stan)<br /> I simply can’t understand why Des and Stan didn’t think to slip in a ‘concrete jungle’ reference and call it a Neat-O. Lesson number one: u gotta b innit 2 winnit, innit.</p> <p>And the top four places, in reverse order:</p> <p>In 4th place, the one-liner runner-up is<br /> Tarzan furious after Jane has her Asphalt (charlies_hat)<br /> I was impressed by this for its sheer ‘Carry On’ banality and all the work that went into splitting the concrete jungle concept into its two distinct components and laying them out in a state of equilibrium in such a simple storyline. Charlies_hat – you win a recycled plastic badge.</p> <p>In 3rd place, is<br /> Report slams out-of-town retail centres; 'Seen one concrete jungle, seen a mall' (Midfield Diamond)<br /> The best of the one-liners. Straight from the sunlamp, it’s bronze for you, Midfield.</p> <p>In 2nd place, as though with royal cutlery secreted about their person, taking silver is Squudge with<br /> <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740&amp;replies=1#post-143584">Cheetah fined for using special Wildebeest lanes</a><br /> Great fun, original angle and definitely the best in the Gnus in Brief section.</p> <p>And, finally, the overall winner in 1st place... Well, it had to be, didn’t it?... It sat at the top of the Top Ten yesterday, it made an excellent FP today, and I hear Danny Boyle is working on the screenplay already... our very own, the one and only, for a full length piece of quality satire<br /> <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/10/15/nice-new-developments-destroying-concrete-jungle-faster-than-ever-say-campaigners/">PERKS!</a></p> <p>So, Samantha, without further to-do, shake up that bottle of Lucozade Original and let’s give our golden winner a shower of glory and a big hand, thank you.</p> <p>Here you are, Perks – the precious NOB (hands over the Neat-O Baton). Congratulations and good luck in thinking up the next one.</p> <p>malgor </p>