http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 11:41:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143642 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 17:54:31 +0000 Squudge 143642@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>oo Malgor... wish I'd thought of the zebra (or even pelican) crossing for the 'kids' in the last para.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143617 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 14:06:37 +0000 malgor 143617@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it, Squudge. Many cars share their names with animals. I myself used to drive a Singer Gazelle. Perhaps Boris could drive off in one, mumbling something about a congestion charge. The traffic police complain they simply can't catch the speeding Cougars 'in these stupid little Panda Cars'; especially when they're held up by a zebra crossing. 'We're just left sitting here, watching the ten-o'clock gnus.' Etc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143602 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 09:56:35 +0000 charlies_hat 143602@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Plenty of gags, nice idea too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143595 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 08:57:10 +0000 Squudge 143595@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It occurred to me that some readers might have a certain ambivalence toward cyclists... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143594 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 08:55:06 +0000 Gerontius 143594@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea Sq<br /> It's not often you see the phrase 'dik-dik' used in a sub<br /> The lawyer/reptile gag deserves points. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143586 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 08:35:20 +0000 Squudge 143586@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Neat-O nibble </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49740#post-143584 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 08:27:45 +0000 Squudge 143584@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A Cheetah has received a record fine and faces having his license revoked after repeatedly flouting the new Concrete Jungle Traffic Management system (dubbed 'Moto-Moto' by CJ motorists). The cheetah's lawyer, a reptile, claims his client has been 'fleeced' for a minor offence, and that "the Wildebeest lane is often empty anyway".</p> <p>The head of CJ Traffic Management, Sir Reginald Chopsley, (distinguished as the first Black Rhino to be elevated to a senior post), has given stern guidance on the matter: "The multiple-occupancy status of this lane is intended to be 'stampede' (or orderly migration, outside of the rush hour). Single carnivores flouting the system are strictly prohibited."</p> <p><img src="http://assets4.pinimg.com/upload/87116574013345462_r6zmdbR1.jpg"></p> <p>The new traffic management guidelines have met with some criticism, particularly from the smaller species who have found their lanes merging with other traffic at hazardous points, leaving them vulnerable to being squished.<br /> "The pachyderms are the worst. They just can't see us when they are turning, if they even bother to look", whinged a dik-dik.</p> <p>Boris the blond Boor champions the arrival of the pachyderms and claims more people should ride them, though he does regret the casualties. We tried to get a quote from Boris on this issue, but he was too busy making a fool of himself.</p> <p>The Rhino traffic police have vowed to impose on-the-spot penalties for a number of offences. "We are particularly watchful of jackals and hyenas, who seem to think it is funny to accelerate when they see kids crossing the road," rumbled Reginald. "Bloody road hogs." </p>