http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:08:01 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143621 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 14:36:18 +0000 BAJDixon 143621@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers everyone, you're too kind (don't stop) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143613 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 13:26:31 +0000 malgor 143613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ AReader: the fat lady sang already. Great FP, BAJDixon! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143610 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 13:07:48 +0000 AReader 143610@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Additionally the local taxi driver is called Peter Sutcliffe and the nursery is run by Myra Hindley </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143601 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 09:42:24 +0000 Username 143601@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143596 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 08:59:08 +0000 Gerontius 143596@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent<br /> And just goes to show that if something is worthy of an FP...it usually ends up there.<br /> All recent FPs have been pretty damn good.<br /> Love the Dr. Shipman reference from Oxy </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143578 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 21:23:15 +0000 Oxbridge 143578@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Possible addition?:</p> <p>'I was suffering so much from anxiety and depression when I moved here that I had to go to the doctors. Fortunately there is a lovely GP here, Dr Shipman, who have me an injection to calm me down.'</p> <p>Sorry, it's been a tough week... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143577 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 21:21:15 +0000 Oxbridge 143577@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant idea, nicely executed. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143575 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 21:03:47 +0000 godly1966 143575@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>hold the front page. 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143574 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 20:38:24 +0000 The All New Jeni B 143574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote> We've also got the best children's hospital in the UK due to some of of the country's best paediatricians having been forced to move here."</blockquote> is for me the most poignant line, given that Paediatricians have been attacked by idiotic, illiterate mobs in the past. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143571 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 20:15:05 +0000 Drylaw 143571@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Angry but poorly informed mob" does it for me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143570 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 20:08:51 +0000 Drylaw 143570@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's the perfect Biscuit offering this one. Quite poignant actually. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143565 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 19:22:53 +0000 Waggys Dog 143565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great idea well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143540 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 15:04:42 +0000 dvo4fun 143540@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea and execution (Pierpoint) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143525 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 10:35:33 +0000 pinxit 143525@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes! Great idea. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143523 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 10:20:01 +0000 AReader 143523@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A brilliant piece of satire. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143521 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 10:17:46 +0000 Dick Everyman 143521@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Did he live at Wren's Nest? I think he sorted my downstairs plumbing out once... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143453 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 22:14:21 +0000 Sir Lupus 143453@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>really like the idea of Farnton... very imaginative! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143411 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 20:01:47 +0000 The All New Jeni B 143411@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This really made me laugh. Well written, and great idea.</p> <p>Have some Freddie Starrs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143409 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 19:33:14 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 143409@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143402 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 18:17:52 +0000 button 143402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it, especially the last para </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143399 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 18:04:31 +0000 Squudge 143399@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Delightful. I can imagine him being welcomed with a nice slice of <strike>jam sandwich</strike> Victoria Sponge by the village postmistress, Myra. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143393 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 17:14:25 +0000 Idiot 143393@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A cut above. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143392 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 17:09:48 +0000 malgor 143392@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good one! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49672#post-143390 Fri, 12 Oct 2012 17:05:46 +0000 BAJDixon 143390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jimmy Saville, a 45 year old plumber from Dudley is the latest name-a-like forced to relocate to Farnton, a secluded, high security village in Suffolk created especially for individuals who share names with public hate figures.</p> <p>Farnton was founded in 1981 by Mark Chapman of Southwark after a furious rabble forced his migration in revenge for the murder of John Lennon, despite the actual Mark Chapman being imprisoned over six months earlier.</p> <p>Saville, who had already suffered minor attacks against his business, <em>Jim'll Fix It (Or Your Money Back!)</em>, was forced to flee his home after an angry but poorly informed mob laid waste to his hanging baskets and appeared to threaten his windows and family.</p> <p>Speaking from his new home, Saville said "It'll take a bit of getting used to but Fred and Rose next door seem like a lovely couple. They've already invited me round for a barbecue.</p> <p>"I considered changing my name but everyone knows me as Jimmy Saville. I even used to do an impression for the local kids which in retrospect has only made matters worse."</p> <p>The Mayor of Farnton, Ian Brady said "We've certainly 'fixed it' for Jimmy to be welcomed into our community. I wouldn't be surprised if we get a few more Jimmy Savilles turning up before the week's out.</p> <p>"Farnton is no different from any other village except Fred Goodwin collects the bins and Ian Huntley works at the petrol station. We've also got the best children's hospital in the UK due to some of of the country's best paediatricians having been forced to move here."</p> <p>It is understood that the Farnton village Council was forced to turn away a Justin Lee Collins earlier in the week after he was discovered to be the actual Justin Lee Collins. "We don't want his sort round here" said Council member General Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri. </p>