http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 15:12:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-143655 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:40:54 +0000 gaijintendo 143655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Y Did a chciken go to Tihland?<br /> He was a pedant! Couldn't fucking help himself! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-143616 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 13:50:09 +0000 Squudge 143616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>x</p> <p>now having fun </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142840 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 10:16:00 +0000 Sinnick 142840@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Squudge &amp; other genuine newbies</p> <p>Best advice is just to ignore everything the trolls, spammers &amp; twats say. Don't give them any of your attention, in their sad way they'll realise they're wasting their own time &amp; will hopefully go away (or be removed along with their posts).</p> <p>Just focus on humour &amp; news - that's what this place is for. Maybe try tickers first (my preference), and build up to NiBs (I'm still building up to this after several years).</p> <p>Oh, and have fun. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142825 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:54:38 +0000 Perks 142825@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll sum it up in two words and three letters.</p> <p>What VCG said. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142823 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:47:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 142823@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And Squudge, don’t be put off, just follow the guidelines and have a go. As wayland mentioned, people here are generally very supportive of newcomers. Look at the format of what is on the main site (I would say look at what other people submit, but there’s a lot of stuff on here at the moment that I wouldn’t recommend looking at directly without some sort of eye protection) and try to write in the same format. If you want feedback ask for it and people will give it. But be prepared to take it in the spirit it is intended, even if it isn’t necessarily very complimentary. Learn from what gets praise and what doesn’t, or what gets used and what doesn’t.</p> <p>Oh, and I wouldn’t recommend looking for style advice for potential NB subs on the Spoof, they seem to be very, very different. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142821 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:46:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 142821@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Martin, can I offer you some advice? Kill the Shuttlecock login. Don’t do it with any fanfare, don’t announce that you’re doing it, don’t even reply to this comment - just quietly stop posting under that name. If you want to write for the site then I would suggest you create a new email address that doesn’t include your name, so not even the admins know that it’s you. Then use that email address to register under a different login, read the guidelines, look at the stories that get used, and write subs that fit the format of either FP, NiB or ticker. After all, that’s what the writers’ room is for – submitting articles for consideration for use on the main site.</p> <p>If you don’t like the style of spoof news articles than that’s fair enough, but I’d suggest this site is not for you as that’s the format here. Deliberately writing things that don’t fit is a waste of everybody’s time including yours. There is scope for different formats in the Left Alert slot, you could look at some examples of that if you’d prefer not to write straight parodies of news stories.</p> <p>Whatever the reasons, you have rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way in the last month or so, and from what has been said about trolls following you around it sounds like it’s not the first time. You could write in NB format under your current login and try to win people over, but with what’s already happened you’re probably never likely to be given a fair chance now. If you write something that doesn’t quite fit people will be queuing up to slate it. If you write something that does fit, and is good, people will probably not want to say so, because it’s you. So the best you can realistically hope for is for your efforts to be ignored.</p> <p>So it’s probably best to start over if you want to carry on. You can tell your mate your new login so he/she knows who you are, but if you never mention it anywhere else then nobody will know and your fanclub can’t follow you around. You mentioned that you’ve written thousands of stories, so you should be practiced enough at writing that adapting your style will come quite easily. Look at it as a challenge, because if you’ve written thousands of stories in the same format then that must get boring. Adapting it a bit should make it more interesting for you.</p> <p>And if you start getting FPs, or even win WoM under your new login, don’t come out shouting about it and revealing who you really are because it could all start all over again. Just be quietly smug that you have proved everybody wrong.</p> <p>Bloody hell that’s a lot of words isn’t it? I should probably do some work now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142799 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:00:35 +0000 Squudge 142799@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As a proper newbie (only a month on this site, and just under that on Spoof - no 'second' IDs on either site and never tried satire before) - first impressions:</p> <p>all a bit scary, frankly</p> <p>the guidelines seem fair enough, but it all seems overshadowed by the suspicions re identity</p> <p>I am doing this for fun (#1) and to improve my creativity (#2) - but I have been sufficiently confused that I've become wary of posting (yes, that does make me a wuss). That is not intended as a criticism of the site - just an observation </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142790 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 07:40:18 +0000 B.E.P. 142790@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow. Did some people have too much Red Bull last night. Hold on. You didn't mix it with sherbert dib-dabs did you. Fucks you up that </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142774 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 06:50:43 +0000 waylandsmithy 142774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Damien, </p> <p>I don't believe you. There, I've said it.</p> <p>For the record, my PC views only stretch as far as not fully supporting hate speech or posts that could be considered to be sailing close to being illegal.</p> <p>Tell you what though, if this is the way the site is going, I'll leave you to it. It used to be quite a lot of fun writing here, but it's recently filled up with complete cunts. No wonder all the best writers have left already. You spend more time whining your bag off than actually writing something credible. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142765 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 05:45:54 +0000 waylandsmithy 142765@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Humphries/Shuttlecock/cockshuffle,</p> <p>This site is genuinely quite welcoming to new writers, except those that use their opening gambit to criticise the site style and boast of their own achievements.</p> <p>If you want to be accepted, stop whining, read the site style guidelines and write something topical and amusing. I don't really see why you would otherwise bother, if you hold Newsbiscuit in such contempt.</p> <p>This isn't the same as the spoof: the board is for developing ideas, writing 'wiki-comedy' and offering support. Not just hurling up anything that comes into your head and then whining like a goat when it is ignored or criticised. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142760 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:42:01 +0000 Mr Humphries 142760@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>*Looks at watch*</p> <p>You're taking your time Stanley's Dad! *Waves in anticipation*</p> <p>Quote by Stanley's Dad if he doesn't edit again that is: "I'm out of here...I hope the three good writers here don't sling their hooks because of this...." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142755 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:33:41 +0000 Mr Humphries 142755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Goodbye Stanley. Find somewhere new to troll. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142752 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:29:30 +0000 Mr Humphries 142752@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You're Admin after one week? I don't think so. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142750 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:27:03 +0000 Mr Humphries 142750@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well Stanley you couldn't be more wrong and if Admin wish to call me I'll gladly give them my phone number, privately.</p> <p>Are there any Admins around? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142747 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:21:16 +0000 Tripod 142747@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>As far as I can see, the answer's simple. I close my account here, and if I want to catch up on what my mate's up to - I sign up again under a user name that none of these idiots will recognise.</blockquote></p> <p>So... do it... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142746 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:20:14 +0000 Mr Humphries 142746@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ Stanley's Dad You obviously have a problem with people from Spoof. Seriously, as someone advocating that we all act like adults, shouldn't people from all manner of sites be welcomed here to write? </p> <p>Skoob1999 - Get a life.</p> <p>For Pete's sake.....is this an adult website where grown ups submit fake news stories and headlines or some sort of bloody playground?</p> <p>Bullies?<br /> Friends?<br /> Second Chances?<br /> Idiots posting under many names?<br /> Some unknown person asking other unknown persons to forgive another unknown person?</p> <p>Good grief this place is worse than my daughter's school.<br /> Some of these posts are cringe-worthy, embarrassing and utterly ludicrous.</p> <p>What the hell is happening to this site? It is becoming a laughing stock for all the wrong reasons the jokes are no longer in the submissions but on those of us associated with this site thanks to the pantomime created by those morons from the spoof.</p> <p>You know who you all are...just fuck off, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422&page=2#post-142745 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:17:37 +0000 Skoob1999 142745@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Me too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142743 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:12:40 +0000 Mr Humphries 142743@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apologies Martin..I was trying to help. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142740 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:10:44 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 142740@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Look, whatever I've said is true. It's up to you whether you believe it or not. I came here to offer support to a friend. And Perks - I apologise for calling you what I did. I make no excuses for that. It was a childish response to being called something a little more basic than that.</p> <p>The only ID's I have on the internet are Martin Shuttlecock (here) and Skoob1999 (On the Spoof). I've been trolled for the reasons Mr Humphries referred to above. The reason why they do it here is because they can't access the Spoof.</p> <p>The reason why I'm explaining this is that these people are trashing your site, and as I said in an apology I issued earlier, that just isn't fair to you guys or NB. I come here daily to see what - if anything - my mate's been writing. It's only when I post a comment or try a one-liner that these creeps come out of the woodwork.</p> <p>As far as I can see, the answer's simple. I close my account here, and if I want to catch up on what my mate's up to - I sign up again under a user name that none of these idiots will recognise.</p> <p>I am genuinely sorry for bringing these idiots - albeit inadvertently - to your attention. And as for their input - not a single one of them could ever write for shit in the first place. </p> <p>Again, apologies all round. What those people write when they're on top form would be of little more interest than your average toilet roll. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142739 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:02:47 +0000 Mr Humphries 142739@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would you be prepared to give him another chance? Deep down he's a good guy and would be an asset to any site. Like most men he can do a spot of chest beating, but he's the first to acknowledge his mistakes and has tried to help so many people on Spoof. He'll probably not thank me for all this, but I couldn't sit back and watch it any longer.</p> <p>Like you, its difficult for him to know who are the genuine people on here and who are the trolls that follow him about. Makes everyone a bit tetchy.</p> <p>I wish everyone would just give him a break, is all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142737 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:56:34 +0000 Perks 142737@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe, maybe not. What I can say is I can see why people would get annoyed with him. My only interaction with him was for commenting on a good sub and being accused of gushing (the same interaction in which he called me a prick). Add to that his moaning about how newbies get ignored. Presuming he meant his mates, I think thats because any feedback was met with hostility, or people didn't find it funny. You seem to be very fond of him, so maybe if he comes across less aggressive people may not try to get at him. He admited he came with an attitude to 'get a reaction' and moaned about the reaction he got.</p> <p> This site is/was different from others in that you sub and then others add to that constructively. Now people seem to comment with one word or not at all for fear of argument. I'm not saying that is Martin's fault, but it is a relitivly recent issue, and it takes the site away from it's core encouragment value.</p> <p>Sorry a bit of a rant, and it is just my opinion and why I sub here less than before, butthats the way it goed I suppose </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142736 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:45:22 +0000 Mr Humphries 142736@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>From what I can gather there was some disagreement/argument on another site (Spoof) I believe. I wasn't around at the time. Someone thinks that Martin (the real Skoob1999) got someone banned, but he wasn't responsible for it. You'll have to ask Martin for the details, but he genuinely isn't a bad guy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142735 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:42:17 +0000 Perks 142735@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Why would they do that? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142734 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:40:00 +0000 Mr Humphries 142734@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry for the delay, I was on a call from my husband. I'm female and know that Martin is a good man....not anything to do with me by the way. I live in another country. If it were me this were happening to I'd have probably gone round the bend by now. Its been a malicious sustained effort by these trolls to discredit him. They're probably reading and laughing, thinking up their next load of rubbish. </p> <p>He's not bullshitting you with this story of them following him and making mischief, they genuinely are. </p> <p>I just got tired of seeing them do this to him and felt I needed to say something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142733 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:38:30 +0000 Perks 142733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Jeni. (PS, that's not gushing just being politeand saying thanks) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142732 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:34:22 +0000 The All New Jeni B 142732@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice to see someone can spell Savile correctly Perks.</p> <p>Yep, Mr Humphrey's, I've become so worried about being accused of being a 'Martin Bash<strike>ir</strike>er, that I'm prefacing all my comments to him with a qualifying statement.</p> <p>That's not right, but it's the way Mr Shuttlecock and his cohorts have made me behave.</p> <p>Whether he has multiple IDs or not, there are a number of his chums from another site who all seem to write in a very similar way to him, and that does tend to arouse suspicions. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142731 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:29:29 +0000 Perks 142731@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure where you get the feeling I dislike Mr Shuttlecock. </p> <p> It is odd that when he came he so did alot of other IDs, some with similar names, and 1 with his other ID. Why would someone be out to get him. I think others agree with me but at the moment you say something people don't like and you end up in some spoofesque arguement.</p> <p> I neither hate nor like Martin (despite him refering to me as a prick previously), it's just all a bit odd</p> <p>There is also a lot of shit on this site at the moment, with people writing the first thing thats in their head about Jimmy fucking Savile that is not remotely funny anymore, but that is a personal view that is no doubt wrong </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142729 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:27:50 +0000 Mr Humphries 142729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He's a good man and writes for Spoof as Skoob1999. The Skoob1999 on here is a troll along with a number of others and is out to make mischief. If people would just give Martin a chance, get off his case and realise that these idiots are a bunch of fruitloops that won't leave him alone, I'm sure things could be really good between you all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142728 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:24:18 +0000 Backup Brian 142728@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Who is this Martin Shuttlecock fella? Is he famous for comedy then? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49422#post-142726 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:19:12 +0000 Mr Humphries 142726@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's where you're wrong, Perks. He has one account only.... Martin Shuttlecock, the rest are trolls out to make mischief and you're being suckered in. Don't let your dislike of Martin see stupid trolls interfere with a good site. </p> <p>*Waits to get abuse* </p>