http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:04:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142800 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:02:56 +0000 B.E.P. 142800@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really?. I thought it was good. Shame you don't like it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142797 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 07:59:51 +0000 waylandsmithy 142797@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry, need to withdraw this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142785 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 07:30:15 +0000 B.E.P. 142785@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this one, very funny. The phrase 'to people them' was nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142730 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:28:02 +0000 The All New Jeni B 142730@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm convinced there's a full moon.</p> <p>Loved this Wayland, not *just* because it's you (Flutters eyelashes), but because it rings true of some of the shite I have to learn as part of a Human Resource module I foolishly thought would be beneficial to my studies.</p> <p>If you heard half the utter shite these HR lecturers spout...<br /> (And they ALL think that lawyers are the spawn of Satan, even when said lawyers (to be) clearly state that they want to work in Employment law to help the 'peepul'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142724 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:15:43 +0000 waylandsmithy 142724@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the kind words. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142663 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:10:52 +0000 FDubois 142663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Y BUMP THIS SHIT??? Butros is RITE. ITS FUCK. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142658 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:04:57 +0000 Boutros 142658@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some really good lines, I love 'equal lack of opportunities employer' and 'the most wheat-intolerant emergency services..'<br /> Could work really well maybe as 4-para NiB keeping all the best bits?</p> <p>FDubois, can't be sure whether you're an excellent parody of a twat or simply the real thing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142597 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:06:21 +0000 FDubois 142597@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ur? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142592 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:03:44 +0000 zipit 142592@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>no </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142587 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:54:57 +0000 FDubois 142587@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>MANU fans are CUNTS????</p> <p>HHAHAHAHA! PSML!¬&gt; !! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142582 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:51:02 +0000 zipit 142582@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FDbois is right about this, even if his wrong about yogs. I don't really get it, and you know what they say....... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142580 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:47:34 +0000 FDubois 142580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeh Matin, this is SHITTTTTTTT! WFT, you GRADA! </p> <p>Serius thogh, its all woed this, wodr this more. TTRyIn too b CLEVER???? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142575 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:42:28 +0000 button 142575@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142572 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:33:09 +0000 waylandsmithy 142572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers Perks, done it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142569 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:31:43 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 142569@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agree. Didn't find it hysterically funny, but it is good satire. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142564 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:25:13 +0000 Perks 142564@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With danger of being shot down, I really like this. Very funny, and well crafted. Love alot of the alternative phrasing used. </p> <p> The only thing I would change is the punchline. I would end on bungalow. I think it is strong enough and the bit after it ruins the flow?. Maybe.</p> <p> There ends my gushing. I know I am doing it so no need for anyone to point it out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49404#post-142561 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:13:31 +0000 waylandsmithy 142561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheshire East fire chiefs were celebrating today, after scooping Britain’s top ‘equality award’. With budget cuts across the county leading to station closures and redundancies, the service is now recognised as an equal lack of opportunities unemployer.</p> <p>“We’re proud of this diverse and equal award”, gushed Derek Fulmer of the Fire Authority. “We had to fill in a hell of a lot of forms to achieve this.” From a starting point with only a handful of minorities available to lay off, Fulmer’s team had to work hard to build a more inclusive force before they could let them all go.</p> <p>After an initial 3-month inspection by the Fire Service Equality Framework, Fulmer was disgusted to learn just how few disabled firemen were on active duty. “It was incredibly expensive, but we’ve managed to convert all our fire engines for wheelchair use”, he explained, “and thanks to a positive discrimination recruitment drive, we found some paraplegics to people them. Now it’s not just standard trucks that we’re selling for scrap: there’s some fully accessible vehicles being crushed, too.”</p> <p>Cheshire East managed to build one of the most wheat-intolerant emergency services in the country, although many have now ‘drawn the short straw’. But with cold water and smoke playing havoc with so many officers’ eczema and asthma, most fires burned themselves out during the initial risk assessment stage of emergency responses.</p> <p>“Obviously, it’s a shame to break up a team that’s so statistically representative of society ”, admitted Fulmer. “We had to a hire a termination consultant, rather than firing people willy-nilly.” With budgets too tight to risk any lengthy legal claims of discrimination, the force is unincluding the stereotypically able-bodied male fire workers first.</p> <p>Fulmer sought to assure the citizens of Cheshire that despite the cuts, they were still perfectly safe. “We’re still here to mediate a solution to unwanted thermal situations”, he insisted. “But it would be fairer if you could have them in an accessible bungalow.” </p>