http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49248 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:39:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49248#post-142153 Sun, 07 Oct 2012 12:58:30 +0000 Squudge 142153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shortar's Syndrome<br /> &lt;snerk&gt;<br /> VG </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49248#post-142150 Sun, 07 Oct 2012 11:28:16 +0000 jamsieoconnor 142150@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A former private detective was tragically crushed to death after becoming trapped on the playing surface of a pinball machine, an inquest has heard. </p> <p>Mr. Inch High, Private Eye, who had recently retired from detective work to run the family grocer's following the death of his father, was on his way home from work in May last year when the paper plane on which he was travelling was caught in a draft from a desk fan and he was blown into an active pinball machine. It is believed that he only managed to survive for a few seconds before he was tragically crushed by a ball. </p> <p>Mr. Eye shot to fame in the 1970s after solving a number of high profile cases, despite suffering from a rare genetic disorder known as Shortar's Syndrome, which severely restricted his growth and resulted in his being only one inch tall. This caused him great difficulty in carrying out even the simplest tasks, including preparing meals and using the telephone. Despite this, he was fiercely protective of his independence. </p> <p>"He never let his disability get the better of him" said his niece, Lori. However, she revealed that his desire to try and conquer his disability often led to increasingly bizarre and reckless behaviour, and that she would routinely have to rescue him from evil criminal masterminds bent on world domination and cats. Actually,", she said, "now that I think about it, it's a miracle that he survived for as long as this, to be honest."</p> <p>Lori's husband, Gator, revealed that they had been concerned about Inch over the last few weeks. "He just wasn't as young as he used to be," he said. "Back in the day, he could have escaped from that pinball machine no problem. He just lost his edge after Braveheart was run over by the postman and his good friend Hong Kong Phooey was put down last week." </p>