http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 00:12:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207#post-142370 Mon, 08 Oct 2012 17:09:35 +0000 Midfield Diamond 142370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Along the same lines as b-j's but here goes:</p> <p>A man dies during sex with his wife, and rigor mortis sets in quickly. Consequently, having prepared him for the funeral, the undertakers can't shut the lid of the coffin due to his still-proud protruberance. They call his wife to ask how she'd like them to proceed. </p> <p>After a short discussion, it is decided that the offending item needs to be cut off but, rather than simply laying it alongside him, the wife suggests they shove it up his arse. They call her back a short while later to invite her to pay her last respects before they shut the lid.</p> <p>When she turns up, she notices that tears are falling from his eyes. Kneeling down beside the coffin, she puts her face close to his and says, "Fucking hurts, doesn't it?" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207#post-142048 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 16:53:10 +0000 riesler 142048@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A former DJ goes into a bra... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207#post-142047 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 16:46:02 +0000 riesler 142047@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A homosexual paedophile goes into a bar... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207#post-142004 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 14:18:55 +0000 beau-jolly 142004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Remember guys, no come backs this is an amnesty thread. Not THAT offensive though to be fair. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49207#post-141995 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 12:31:42 +0000 beau-jolly 141995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just for a laugh how about this topic becomes a space to share your most offensive joke with impunity. Notional and valueless prize for the most offensive.</p> <p>Can I give you a starter?</p> <p>Wife in coma in hospital<br /> Nurse notices a reaction during an intimate bed bath and suggests to the husband that, although a long shot, oral sex may get a break through.<br /> Husband agrees to give it a go but after a few minutes the bells and lights all go off as his wife flatlines.<br /> Nurse rushes back in; "What happened?"<br /> "Dunno" says the bloke "She must have choked".</p> <p>ahahahahahaha what? </p>