http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4909 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 04:34:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4909#post-13850 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:05:15 +0000 Jammydodgers 13850@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br /> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4909#post-13628 Sat, 22 May 2010 13:27:21 +0000 QorbeQ 13628@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Global health care products company Johnson &amp; Johnson, infamous for recently dropping their well-known registered trademark 'No more tears', will be using harsher wording in future 'to engender customer distrust in competitors products', reports the company's CEO William C Weldon.</p> <p>'Of course there are tears -- it's fucking soap at the end of the day -- so we dropped that phrase completely before someone sued us,' said Mr Weldon during the announcement of the new product tagline, 'Our competitors' products eat your children's eyes out'. 'We're squarely aimed at reducing the market share of other producers these days, rather than trying to specifically improve our own,' he said.</p> <p>The move is set to increase tension between rival producers in a similar manner as when Heineken stopped using their 'refreshes other parts' slogan in favour of 'Heineken. It might be crap, but it's better than Hofmeister'. The Hofmeister brand was soon phased out as brewer Scottish &amp; Newcastle admitted their marketing defeat.</p> <p>Further changes are expected in the advertising world as news of the success of 'anti-marketing' spreads. Southern Electric's new tagline 'That bloke from British Gas has nicked your CDs' is still waiting approval from the Advertising Standards Authority, whilst Audi's famous 'vorsprung durch technik' has been replaced in favour of 'Sie schauen weniger ein tosspot als in einem BMW', which Audi's marketing department translates as 'better than BMW'.</p> <p>Another vehicle related company, Kwik-Fit, have also jumped on the negative-spin bandwaggon and have removed their recent 'You'll be amazed at what we do' from published material after finding it much less memorable than their original 'You can't get better' catchphrase. They have reportedly engaged the renowned Saatchi &amp; Saatchi to put images to its new slogan 'Don't look now, but that fitter from ATS is eyeing up your missus'. The company says it is expecting market share to ramp up significantly once they start pumping up the new advertising after an exhaustive push with a battery of television commercials. </p>