http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4878 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 17:59:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4878#post-13563 Fri, 21 May 2010 15:49:04 +0000 pinxit 13563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following a string of celebrity appointments, the Home Secretary today announced that Sir Terry Wogan would lead a crackdown on the illegal rug trade.</p> <p>A beaming Sir Tel said, " It's a subject close to my heart. And head. Ever since I saw first-hand what the insidious 'Irish Jig' did to my compatriots in the Emerald Isle, I've campaigned to stamp this trade out."</p> <p>In his first move, Sir Terence has upgraded the status of several so-called recreational rugs to Class A, including the heavily trafficked Iranian or 'Persian' rug, and the highly addictive 'Clinic Weave' so beloved by ex-cricketers. The notorious synthetically produced 'SYRUP' has also joined the list.</p> <p>One British-produced rug, however, has been demoted to Class C. "I'm partial meself to the ol' Crown Topper, for many a year now - and it's never done me any harm!" he crooned.</p> <p>Lord Wigon is 93. </p>