http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48666 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 19:53:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48666#post-140301 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:51:58 +0000 Yikes 140301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mitt Romney has unveiled plans to manufacture bespoke private jets that feature French doors opening out to a swimming pool and BBQ area on one wing, and a tennis court and sweeping croquet lawn on the other wing. A tree-lined drive will be situated on the top of the plane, leading to a garage at the tail.</p> <p>The venture will be run through a Cayman Islands company called One Percent Jets, and has a projected start date of early November 2012, when Romney expects to have a gap in his calendar.</p> <p>Romney said the idea came to him when he realised current jets don’t even have windows that open: “You might have a gold-plated bathroom, king-sized bed, and a home cinema system, but you are all cooped up without the usual outdoor mansion comforts. It is almost as bad as the time I was forced to travel first class on a commercial airline – they apparently housed cattle in the rear of the plane and the smell was another advertisement for opening windows.”</p> <p>Romney was pleased with the innovative design features that enable the grounds of a large estate to be replicated on a jet: “The croquet lawn will double as a helicopter pad, and the tennis court can be configured as a shooting range. A staff cottage for the waiting staff, pool guy, and tennis coach will be situated in the undercarriage of the plane – the Cuban immigrants we have hired should be very happy with it.”</p> <p>Industry reaction to the Romney jet was mostly positive, though Richard Branson was quick to give an interview perched on top of a giant pogo stick claiming that he already has a jet in the works that will contain an entire tropical island on one wing, a nurse’s college on the other, and will fly to the Sun.</p> <p>US President Barack Obama predictably condemned Romney’s “elitist” venture, saying the design of the jet showed that how out of touch Romney was with 99% of ordinary Americans: “I’m all for windows that open to allow for a sneaky cigarette, but a croquet lawn and tennis court on the wing? It should obviously be a basketball court.” </p>