http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 07:21:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140584 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 16:15:37 +0000 Mr Humphries 140584@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Made me laugh. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140580 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:56:05 +0000 vertical 140580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bullseye!<br /> about time we had a genuine funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140551 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 12:52:17 +0000 custard cream 140551@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great, well done! Max. stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140537 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 11:25:25 +0000 jamsieoconnor 140537@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good x 2! Thanks DC. Can't ask for much better than that. Well, unless you'd posted it a third time....or a fourth time....or (continued later). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140477 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:59:46 +0000 jamsieoconnor 140477@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers for the advice and support. Makes me feel all, eh, slightly less misanthropic than normal. </p> <p>Anyhow, the "may share genetic link" headline would be a definite improvement. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140434 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:47:35 +0000 Queen of Tarts 140434@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Laugh 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140431 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:22:16 +0000 jimmydodger 140431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>instant laugh and 5 stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140430 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:17:35 +0000 Deadcode 140430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the title is great. This is one that would do nicely for a shorter piece, one paragraph or maybe two at most, straight to the point. It would keep the whole thing punchier.</p> <p>Good stuff though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140428 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:12:47 +0000 writinginbsl 140428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>late stars and a bumpette</p> <p>Solicitors may share 'genetic link' with humans says study </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140216 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 20:23:42 +0000 jamsieoconnor 140216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could probably slip it into para. 4 by saying that the study viewed them in their natural habitat of behind an excessively large mahogany desk with a green lamp. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140213 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 20:17:00 +0000 Yikes 140213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite superb!</p> <p>I' wonder if a mahogany desk reference could be slipped in somewhere? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48640#post-140204 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 19:15:55 +0000 jamsieoconnor 140204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shocking new research into the species <em>cuntus maximus lexis</em>, otherwise known as the common or office solicitor, has thrown up some surprising results. </p> <p>Previously thought of as a species in their own right, owing to their bizarre and incomprehensible squawking, their strange appearances and their unique levels of emotionless arrogance, it now appears that solicitors may actually be distant relatives of the human race. </p> <p>James Tyler, Professor of Anthropology at Cambridge, was the leader of the team which carried out the research. "The results are startling," he said. "The initial theory on solicitors was that they were members of the slug family. However, in more recent times, it became widely accepted that they were some kind of rodent, in line with their general mannerisms and impulse to hoard things, particularly money." </p> <p>However, Professor Tyler's research, which included showing solicitors' ability to sometimes recognise close family members and to occasionally manage to speak some words of recognisable English, has now cast doubt on this theory. </p> <p>"We now think that there is a chance that these creatures may be at least partially related to us," said Professor Tyler. "Given our results, it appears that solicitors probably stem from an off-shoot of early homo erectus which learned to use paper, rather than stone, as a weapon to catch food. They most likely smothered their prey under vast piles of the stuff while simultaneously boring them to death with long, incomprehensible speeches."</p> <p>The Law Society has released a statement commenting on these new findings but it appears to have been written by a solicitor so no-one has a clue what it says. </p>