http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 00:01:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138379 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:35:26 +0000 JohnA 138379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>“In the current financial climate, the country simply cannot afford to keep paying the proletariat and have enough money left to keep people like myself and my school chums in yachts, helicopters, third houses and young Latino mistresses...</blockquote></p> <p>Latino would be a male. A female from Latin American would be a latina.</p> <p>Its either kinkier than I expected or just confusing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138316 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 00:13:48 +0000 Quaz 138316@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You might both be right, it's far more chilling. Alternative ending:</p> <p>With the proposed legislation, George Osborne will have the job of deflowering all the slave daughters once they reach the age of consent. “It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it” said Osborne, with a thin lipped smile on his slappable face. “Imagine that”, said Cameron. “The first thing your daughter sees as she joins UK PLC will be the leering face of George Osborne in his Vinegar Stroke”. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138310 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:33:02 +0000 The All New Jeni B 138310@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gideon Osborne as an alternative? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138306 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:02:10 +0000 dvo4fun 138306@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hague as Minister for Deflowering? Are you sure you've got 'the right man for the job'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138305 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:00:29 +0000 Quaz 138305@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. What few lefty sentiments I had left after the 90's departed me during the Iraq War and gave way to my overwhelming urge to snipe in a smartarse way at both sides, comfortable in the knowlege that I would never be asked to make any difficult decisions affecting the Country. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138300 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:16:38 +0000 waylandsmithy 138300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A sensible policy, and a welcome return for one of Liverpool's most lucrative industries. No-one would dare criticise a scouser in the current climate.</p> <p>5, despite it angering my non-lefty instincts. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138294 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:53:42 +0000 The All New Jeni B 138294@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Suddenly his plans to repeal the HRA make sense...<br /> Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48100#post-138279 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 19:44:05 +0000 Quaz 138279@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Prime Minister David Cameron has announced plans to leagalise slavery and remove all rights from employees. Speaking on The World at One, the Prime Minister said “In the current financial climate, the country simply cannot afford to keep paying the proletariat and have enough money left to keep people like myself and my school chums in yachts, helicopters, third houses and young Latino mistresses. It’s simply not on.”</p> <p>Under new proposals by the Tory Government, anyone who didn’t go to public school can be ‘owned’ by their employer. “It’s quite simple. If your employee isn’t posh enough, then they are your ‘bitch’ and they can squeal as much as they like, but they have no rights whatsoever. Basically, it’s like the enclosures and the corn laws, but much, much better for people like me. You know, proper people, not chavvy types”.</p> <p>New legislation proposes that any slave not willing to work themselves to death under the vengeful gaze of a Tory overlord can be taken out and shot without recompense to their family. Business Minister and newly appointed Lord of the Sith Vince Cable explained ever so politely that “This way bread winners will be motivated to flog themselves into an early grave for the benefit of the those who control the means of production, while the monthly cull of slaves ensures a regular fall in the unemployment figures. Once we change the factory laws to take the guards off the machines, that should help as well”. </p> <p>With the proposed legislation, William Hague will have the job of deflowering all the slave daughters once they reach the age of consent. “It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it” said Hague, his baseball hat askew. “Imagine that”, said Cameron. “The first thing your daughter sees as she joins UK PLC will be the leering face of William Hague in his Vinegar Stroke”. </p>