http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4789 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 00:14:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4789#post-13384 Thu, 20 May 2010 11:26:30 +0000 clockwork apple 13384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>[b]Boris....and bus conducters patroling the streets of London armed with the latist ticket machines keeping the public safe,good idea dont you think?<br /> Clegg.Fantastic idea,and Ill get rid of all those cctv cameras to make the streets even safer.<br /> Boris.Brilliant thats a great idea,we could put them to much better use,like melting them all down and turning them into swings and slides for deprived pensioners in Knightsbridge,a pensioners playground even in Hyde park even.<br /> Clegg.I no what else we could do?<br /> Boris.What?<br /> Clegg.How about extra soft foam coshes and those trick knives you get in joke shops,the plastic blade retracks harmlessly into the handle when you stab someone,we could give them out free to muggers and people getting released from prison.<br /> Boris.Yes yes brilliant,I think some of your liberalism is begining to rub off on me you no?we could give them out at needle exchanges with get out of jail free cards.<br /> Clegg.Yes and arm the Police with bow and arrows with suckers on the ends for when their patroling dangerous crime hotspots like on double decker busses.<br /> Boris.Busses hhummmmm!listen to this one then,hot air balloons in the shape of double decker buses costing one and a half million pounds each?<br /> Clegg.Fantastic,hot air balloon busses,nice and green,cheap on fuel,us to could blow them up everyday.With sort of ropes hanging underneath so people can just sort of grab one and hold on,sort of hop on and off like the old routemasters?<br /> Boris. Yes and then maybe a special city workers balloon type bus in the shape of a white elephant with my face on the sides,they could fly people straight to their office window in rush hour?<br /> Clegg.I no I no,how about a remake of Rising Damp?Cammeron could be Rigsby,you could be miss joans.and me as the black lodger who Rigsbys belittles and doesnt like very much?<br /> Boris.Now your just being silly.......mind you lets face it you are Cammerons lodger afterall,hay I no lets replace docters with scarecrows and.................... </p>