http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 09:40:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137558 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 22:06:11 +0000 Yikes 137558@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny NiB!! Particularly like the last "pecking order" para. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137556 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:48:10 +0000 FlashArry 137556@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Saddened and humbled by these outpourings - Book of Condolence / Candlelit vigil anyone ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137555 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:40:56 +0000 custard cream 137555@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>On hearing the sad news of Monty's untimely demise, Prime Minister David Cameron shared these spontaneous thoughts:</p> <p>"I shall not rest until, once again, the destinies of our people and our party are joined together again in memory of this brave canine. Any parent wants what is best for their pets. I am not going to make a choice for my pet on the basis of what is the politically correct thing to do. A young country that wants to be a strong country cannot be morally neutral about its pets. We are on the side of ordinary people against privilege, against vested interests of the public or private sector vets. My project will be complete when the country learns to love all dogs, not just the Queen's dogs. For me my three main priorities for government are dogs, dogs, dogs. Monty was the people's favourite and that is how he will stay, how he will remain in our hearts and minds forever. A day like today is not a day for soundbites, really. But I feel the hand of history upon our shoulders. I really do." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137549 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:25:37 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 137549@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You said I owed you two minutes.</p> <p>After reading this, I reckon we're even.</p> <p>Have a nice day.</p> <p>Shuttlecock. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137540 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 20:55:20 +0000 Squudge 137540@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The security service assassinated Monty. Paul Burrell claims the corgi wimpered to him for help and left him a 'message' (on his carpet) - compelling evidence </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137523 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:54:00 +0000 dvo4fun 137523@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love the original idea and Golgo's contribution. Had to restrain myself from reading ahead to see if 'the People's Corgi' would be there. Worth the wait, though the printed word doesn't do ... justice ... to the ... halting ... and emotional ... delivery of the People's Prime Minister in this island's hour of greates grief. Cracker </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137489 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 15:14:30 +0000 Golgo13 137489@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>To be honest, I just cut and pasted Tony Blair's "People's Princess" transcript and changed a couple of words to make it fit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137472 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 11:03:32 +0000 Sinnick 137472@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is so reminiscent of Diana, with the nation grieving for weeks (or years in the case of Daily Express readers). Maybe Elton should adapt a song to commemorate Monty's passing - "Poodles in the Wind". Did you know, for example, that it was Monty's career wish to help with clearing landmines, but he got stuck with being a royal foot-rest? And he was prolific in the bedroom department, or any other department of Harrods when he escaped his leash. It was widely known that he had sex with numerous bitches, but it was only when he came across Prince Philips leg that this had to stop - the Prince gave instructions to have him taken out, and not necessarily for walkies.</p> <p>Poor Diana, poor old dog.</p> <p>~~~~~~~<br /> Is there anyone out ther who can merge these ideas into earlier posts to make it a little more coherent ? The Diana-Monty parallel is a must. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137468 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 10:18:09 +0000 The All New Jeni B 137468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Buckingham Palace announced today that Her Majesty will invoke Royal Prerogative to behead any one who tells her he was 'just a dog'." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137466 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 10:09:33 +0000 Golgo13 137466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Seeking to shape the nation's grief and piggy-back on the popularity of the dog, Cameron broke into a spontaneously emotional speech, saying, "I feel like everyone else in this country today. I am utterly devastated.<br /> "Our thoughts and prayers are with the Royal family. Our heart goes out to them.<br /> "We are today a nation in a state of shock, in mourning, in grief that is so deeply painful for us. He was a wonderful and a warm dog, although his own life was often sadly touched by tragedy. He touched the lives of so many others in Britain and throughout the world with joy and with comfort.<br /> "How many times shall we remember him in how many different ways - with the sick, the dying, with children, with the needy? With just a look or a gesture that spoke so much more than words, he would reveal to all of us the depth of his compassion and his caninity.<br /> "I am sure we can only guess how difficult things were for him from time to time. But people everywhere, not just here in Britain, kept faith with Monty. They liked him, they loved him, they regarded him as one of their own. He was the People's Corgi and that is how he will stay, how he will remain in our hearts and our memories for ever". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47881#post-137455 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 07:16:55 +0000 Gerontius 137455@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor one of the Royal corgis who sadly passed away over the weekend.<br /> The 13 year old Monty was previously owned by the Queen Mother and despite years of therapy and spells at The Priory had never been able to kick his life-long addiction to juniper berries.<br /> The corgi is rumoured to have been cross-bred with one of the Royal cavalry dogs and was said to be the favourite of Prince Harry<br /> Monty, who was recently seen out-acting Daniel Craig during a James Bond sketch featured in the Olympics opening ceremony, died in his sleep early on Sunday morning. In the sketch the secret agent is greeted by Monty and one of the other Royal corgis - we then see the mutt run down a flight of stairs, perform a series of tummy-rolls for the Queen before jumping on board a waiting helicopter leaving poor Monty behind, wondering what the fuck was going on.<br /> But it is not all bad news for members of the Royal household following the death of the dog which now sees Prince Edward move one place higher in importance in the Royal rankings with the Earl of Wessex now perched just behind Mr.Tiggiwink, a red tailed falcon used by the Queen to keep pigeons off the lawn at Balmoral. </p>