http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47788 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 09:35:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47788#post-137269 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 20:50:58 +0000 deskpilot3 137269@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is funny. What is not funny is that the fat one is running the country. And was clearly too fat to be reshuffled. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47788#post-137200 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:32:05 +0000 Gerontius 137200@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A robot called Fatso has failed in its attempt to beat the world record for eating chocolate covered donuts.<br /> The neckless machine - funded by the Pentagon - was tested at a fast food restaurant in Massachusetts and reached speeds approaching 300 donuts per minute but was unable to break the world record set by British MP Eric Pickles at last year’s Tory party conference.<br /> The record breaking attempt is part of a project aimed at developing robots for culinary use - and in particular to try and keep up with Americas voracious dietary demands.<br /> But one robotic expert said it was unfortunate that donuts were primarily designed to ‘make people fat’ and that the machinery would almost certainly be used to turn unsuspecting people into rotund Pickle look-alikes.<br /> The groundbreaking ‘Fatso’ machine was inspired by a herd of Hippopotamus - natures very own lard-arsed sweat buckets – but despite breaking its own record on several occasions, was unable to match Pickles gargantuan consumption of sugar-coated confectionary vomit.<br /> ‘Fatso had a slight advantage over Pickles in that the tests were carried out when the pair were fast asleep but it could never match the Brentwood MPs relentless comatose donut-to-mouth ratio of 5 sugar coated rings per second.<br /> A professor at the University of Sheffield said although the machinery was an incredible piece of 21st century technology it was a shame it had been put up against someone with the insatiable greed and avarice of an elected Conservative MP<br /> ‘We’re talking about a machine with artificial intelligence that only responds to a limited number of prompts and commands from its controller....no robot, no matter how sophisticated will ever compete with that. </p>