http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 05:45:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-137043 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 11:51:45 +0000 Sinnick 137043@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I may have heard her say she was going down with something ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-137029 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 08:45:40 +0000 Queen of Tarts 137029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Five star </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-137024 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 06:34:11 +0000 Squudge 137024@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is Sugartits ill?<br /> I would have expected her to have pounced on your enormous pussy as soon as you posted. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-137013 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:38:41 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 137013@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good rib-tickling stuff that Wayland. You got my five.</p> <p>Shuttlecock. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-137003 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 21:36:57 +0000 Very Little Else 137003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wayland, I mean it as a compliment when I say that henceforth I will think of you whenever I spy a "pinch point". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136998 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 21:02:04 +0000 Squudge 136998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>woof </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136996 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:59:56 +0000 FlashArry 136996@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bang on, sir ! ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136970 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 18:02:34 +0000 waylandsmithy 136970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Squudge,</p> <p>I noticed Mars looked a bit like a cat litter tray shot from an arty angle, and then set myself the challenge of writing this without using 'curiosity killed the cat' or any rover/cat references. I was hoping I might have got away with it... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136969 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 18:00:08 +0000 Squudge 136969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>are we going to get a postscript to the effect that 'Curiosity killed the cat'<br /> ...perhaps with the laser thingy?</p> <p>&lt;fetches coat&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136937 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 12:22:58 +0000 dvo4fun 136937@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I see you're still getting deliveries of that 'special' rolling baccy wayland </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136936 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 12:21:59 +0000 button 136936@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars, I liked 'pinch point', and 'statistically improbable wardrobe' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136931 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 12:06:59 +0000 kimllfixit 136931@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Why is it that terms like "pinch point" result in childish giggling, even though I should know better?</p> <p>Utter shit. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136928 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 12:05:27 +0000 writinginbsl 136928@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very silly</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47695#post-136916 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:09:18 +0000 waylandsmithy 136916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>NASA’s Mars Rover, Curiosity, has made a startling discovery amongst the dusty grey rocks of our nearest planet: a feline turd just under a kilometre in length. Despite being two storeys high and smelling strongly of fish heads, the planetary explorer managed to tread in it shortly before breakfast, while its sensors were still a bit bleary.</p> <p>“Judging by the composition of this Martian doody and the way it splattered all around the wheel arches of Curiosity, we think this could be the strongest hint yet that Mars is home to fascinating life-forms”, explained Mission Control’s Charles ‘Chuck’ Peters. “That’s if they haven’t already been wiped out by some massive fucking space cat.”</p> <p>Experts in space maths are currently trying to reprogram Curiosity, so that it can tiptoe carefully around the alien outrage and get on with its work. An initial attempt to laser a path through it was quickly abandoned, after Curiosity’s olfactory sensors caused it to vomit up an airbag.</p> <p>It is hoped that the exploratory vehicle will reach the turd’s ‘pinch point’ some time before mid-November, but it’s a dangerous operation that exceeds the robot’s design brief. “Obviously, we tested Curiosity for most eventualities”, insisted Peters, “but owing to budgetary constraints, we took a risk that we wouldn’t be interrupted by a gargantuan fucking cat.” Hurried computer simulations now suggest that Curiosity could be buried unnoticed with the turd, or carried off and tormented, underneath a statistically improbable wardrobe. </p> <p>While the shadow of the ‘faeces on Mars’ can be seen by amateur astronomers from Earth, no-one has yet captured an image of its owner. “That’s understandable”, explained Peters. “We now think that Mars was once covered with plush grassland, tiny mammals and even the odd avian species, but all that changed with the arrival of an alien, furry bastard. It's probably sleeping off its lunch, in a big drawer full of socks.”</p> <p>The team hopes Curiosity can learn enough about Mars’ past to prevent a similar fate befalling our own planet, but Peters has a back-up plan, should a massive paw start trying to flip it over: “If we can grab it with the robot arm, we might just be able to rub its face in it.” </p>