http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 18:21:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136846 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 21:26:43 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136846@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Makes a change from penis-shaped cars I suppose. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136822 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 19:21:15 +0000 Ironduke 136822@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Burned on my retinas in horrific close up, Gerry. Gear shift nearly had my eye out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136811 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 17:22:42 +0000 Gerontius 136811@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Do you think Akiko would let me cover her breasts with my Head and Shoulders - I'm getting quite a froth up just thinking about it.<br /> Oh damn....could we put it off until tomorrow?</p> <p>Oh...and Mr.Dukes 1963 convertible pic is spot on - even got the colour right too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136809 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 16:48:36 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 136809@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shame. Well if you ever change your mind about opening my channel, let me know. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136791 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 14:21:01 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136791@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sugartits, I'd hoped no-one would notice my error. Sorry love, but I'm infernally jealous of large, yet pert, breasted Japanese ladies.</p> <p>Id, that's an embarrassing admission. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136788 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 13:33:54 +0000 Ironduke 136788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.greenandblacksdirect.com/pages/homepage/side_links/view_full_range/bar_combination_gifts/product_information1/default.aspx?prodid=88">This one seemed appropriate, Jeni</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136780 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 12:36:01 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 136780@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Sugartits, let me assure you that by mentioning this, we hoped to break down assumptions, and open up an understanding between lesbians and middle-aged me.</blockquote></p> <p>Jeni...are you saying what I think you're saying? I don't mind opening a channel of communication... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136770 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 10:48:46 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136770@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And possibly intentional... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136767 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 10:33:08 +0000 Ironduke 136767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Possibly an unfortunate turn of phrase Jeni. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136761 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 09:22:54 +0000 kimllfixit 136761@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I once met a fellow whose comb-over looked like a Walnut Whip, thus combining the chocolate and middle-aged man issues. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136759 Mon, 03 Sep 2012 09:02:11 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136759@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm a sucker for Green &amp; Black's 80% dark chocolate myself... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136738 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 23:57:40 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 136738@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Methinks I've been misinterpreted.</p> <p>By the way...</p> <p>Who's Yonks?</p> <p>Shuttlecock. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136737 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 23:54:16 +0000 Ironduke 136737@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As your bournville-dipped-lesbian-interrupting fantasies are not secret, might we ask who you have shared them with?</p> <p>Its just I've got a range of rather similar peccadiloes and I've been looking for an outlet for yonks now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136735 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 23:27:36 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 136735@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I must admit I found this all rather jolly. And no, I'm not a geek and I don't have secret fantasies about interrupting lesbian lovers whilst enveloped in molten chocolate. (If I did, it would probably have to be Bourneville) I gave it five. Cause that's the kind of bloke I am. (And definitely not chubby or bald.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136728 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 21:45:09 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136728@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm a little disappointed, if not surprised to be honest, that you've all focused on the whole 'dipped in chocolate and fed to lesbians' angle.</p> <p>Too many 'Halo' and 'WoW' players here? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136720 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 19:48:31 +0000 Ironduke 136720@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quaz, you might have hit pay dirt there.</p> <p>How about topless models recreating heroic wartime missions? </p> <p>'First of all, we ate our biltong escape bras...' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136718 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 18:57:18 +0000 Quaz 136718@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What have we started? It's like Question Time meets Babe Station out there (I should pitch that idea to Channel 5. And don't tell me you have never come accross Babe Station while flicking through the free to view channels late at night, using the excuse that you were looking for that history channel documentary on The Reich's Secret Nazi Sharks) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136702 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 14:05:04 +0000 JohnA 136702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don't know where to begin... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136701 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 13:56:29 +0000 Ironduke 136701@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3023/2719557257_5f70d870a9.jpg&amp;imgrefurl=http://www.flickriver.com/photos/albertsbite/sets/72157614487313274/&amp;h=343&amp;w=500&amp;sz=98&amp;tbnid=Ei0QXNNxR8WXxM:&amp;tbnh=90&amp;tbnw=131&amp;prev=/search%3Fq%3D1963%2Btriumph%2Bherald%2Bconvertible%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&amp;zoom=1&amp;q=1963+triumph+herald+convertible&amp;usg=__pjif-EcADhJd-ZHDJ5sBcKEWTL0=&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=G2VDUMWzH-bX0QXl8IHIBA&amp;ved=0CC4Q9QEwAQ&amp;dur=1030">Cock shot</a></p> <p>rather angular; that must smart a little. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136699 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 13:51:50 +0000 Squudge 136699@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quaz/JenniB - your sub seems good as a NiB with just the Parkin bit - the ring doughnuts complete the feast.</p> <p>&lt;munches chocolate absently&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136695 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:18:12 +0000 The All New Jeni B 136695@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sugartits, let me assure you that by mentioning this, we hoped to break down assumptions, and open up an understanding between lesbians and middle-aged me.</p> <p>I'm sorry if you feel we've played into the trap of this stereo-type, but we had hoped to expose lesbians to greater middle-aged men dipped in chocolate opportunities. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136693 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 11:19:36 +0000 Skylarking 136693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But face it, who hasn't at one time or another found themselves ruefully confessing “I should never have worn the ring doughnuts as well!”? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136688 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 08:40:08 +0000 Akiko 136688@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>English joke man on Newsbiscuit make me funny and then horny but who is real sweaty white man on Internet? Are you true one? Or making stories? You promise wart like funny English car but maybe just normal wart. I become confusing but I must answer my body request. I love very much lesbian play all night long with SugarTits69, but in soapy shower time we always hungry for chubby man friend. It's difficult my problem, but I try my best. Let's trying with me!</p> <p>イギリス人の中年デブとエッチしたい若いレズビアンカップル(またはグループ)いませんか。一緒に探しましょう！連絡してね </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136686 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 07:57:02 +0000 Gerontius 136686@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have a genital wart on my penis that has been compared to a 1963 Triumph Herald convertible.<br /> There are not many about, have you ever come across one during your sex romps? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136685 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 07:52:45 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 136685@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>From your description you tick enough boxes - hot lesbians are flexible on the hair thing. The problem my super-hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko and I face is "how do we know you are who you say you are?"</p> <p>There are so many people on the Internet who say they're one thing but the reality is completely different. That's why I want lesbians with the middle-aged man fetish to get in touch with me, so we can swap stories and tips - and even share our man-whores. </p> <p>Akiko and I happen to have one bloke we are willing to farm out if there are any frustrated lesbian couples/groups of three or more who want to add a little middle-aged overweight spice to the party. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136684 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 07:37:13 +0000 Gerontius 136684@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well Ms Tits,<br /> I'm 57 years old, somwewhat over weight and certainly sweat profusely.<br /> The only downside is my full head of hair....I realise you stipulate 'balding men only' but I do regularly shave 'down below'...<br /> Might you consider me for one of your hot, lesbian sex romps or are you only attracted to the folically challenged?<br /> Jeni and Quaz may not be up to it but you can pour melted chocolate on my genitals anytime.....and I think you know what I mean by that sweetcheeks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136680 Sun, 02 Sep 2012 05:11:35 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 136680@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can't believe this kind of stone-age stereotype still exists in 2012 after all the hard work of lesbian bloggers like me, and all my hard working sisters in the lesbian film industry.<br /> One of the most stubborn myths is that lesbians aren't into sweaty slightly overweight balding middle-aged men, when in fact they are never far from the centre of out sexual fantasies.<br /> Only last night, I was saying to Akiko, my super-hot Japanese girlfriend, as I was soaping her generous yet pert D-cup breasts in the shower, "We should entice another middle-aged married bloke into one of our all-night lesbian love-making marathons for no-strings mind-blowing physical pleasure that will totally not get back to his wife, EVER."<br /> Like most hot, moist, firm-breasted lesbians, she agreed immediately, because while we love oiling-up and writhing againsts each other's supple, lithe bodies, what really tops off a session for us is the presence of a slightly overweight balding feller, to watch, or even to join in for a few minutes here and there.<br /> As her expert fingers stimulated my love button, and slid into my moist cleft, my moans of ecstasy nearly drowned out her reply - "But how can we find such a man who want to play with us? The Internet is full of people pretending to be something else." As my body shuddered to yet another climactic orgasm, and my busy tongue flickered over her erect nipples, I was forced to agree.<br /> Yet again, we found ourselves wondering how the many lesbians who dream of a flabby middle-aged man joining them for lesbo-orgies find their rotund man-whores.<br /> If any lesbians are out there in a similar bind, please get in touch with me and Akiko. I'm sure if we all got together and pooled our firm-breasted moist resources, we could probably find one man ready to give us a chance. </p> <p>So you see, Quaz and Jeni, this story may seem like harmless fun, but it reenforces society's perception that hot, horny lesbians don't want a middle-aged guy joining us in the hot-tub, say, and my fear is that firm-breasted, super-hot and horny lesbians reading this might feel they need to hide their urge to pounce on men who accidentally walk in on their coffee mornings. That would be the true tragedy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47611#post-136675 Sat, 01 Sep 2012 22:58:47 +0000 Quaz 136675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A new survey shows that people who make a bucket list of things to go before they die ultimately rated about 80% of the experiences as ‘disappointing’. </p> <p>Don Parkin, a Middle aged sales executive of no fixed marriage, always hankered after being at the centre of a mass of writhing females. On a Saturday day afternoon in Brighton after arriving early for a three day seminar on Polyethylene he found himself at a loose end in the hotel bar. “I quite often use the expression ‘Well, dip me in Chocolate and feed me to the lesbians’, it always gets a laugh from the lads, and the Gay Pride March was on. So after I few pints I decided to take the plunge and went up to Thorntons, where I managed to bribe an assistant to sell me some melted chocolate from the back room. Then I headed off to the Gay Pride celebration. I stripped off and covered myself in melted chocolate, but I hadn’t thought it through. Lesbians are rarely attracted to the sight of a slightly drunk, naked, middle aged man, screaming as he receives burns from molten chocolate on his chest and genitals”. What was captured on CCTV and will be used in the court case were a stream of unfussy heterosexual women in Velour shell suits running out of the local Primark to drool over him and bite off the setting chocolate. “It was like a scene from dawn of the dead” said Don, weeping openly. “I should never have worn the ring doughnuts as well!”</p> <p>City Lawyer Fiona Wilde also commented. ”Finding one's self while on a Retreat is only possible if one has sufficient funds to book into a 5 Star Retreat. Monastic rural Retreats don't provide the same quality of Spa service. I had also always hankered after leaving my well paid job in the City to set up a small key cutting and cobblers shop in Lyme Regis. I did, and it wasn't all that. In retrospect, I should have first done the more expensive things like chartering a private jet to Bermuda with all my friends for a party, while I was still rolling in it. That, and hiring Johnny Depp for a night of passion, dressed as a Pirate.”</p> <p>Other contributors to the survey included the Formula One fan who had saved for his entire life to be able to do the World Grand Prix Tour, but was sorely disappointed that it was noisy, smelly, he was always miles from the pit, it rained at a huge number of races, and he had not seen a single fatal crash.</p> <p>Strangely, the people most satisfied with their bucket list were players of online video games who reported that getting three stars on angry birds was the best thing they ever did. We contacted a number of forums for players of Halo and World of Warcraft for a reaction to the findings, but none were prepared to talk to a real person.</p> <p>A joint Quaz and JeniB production </p>