http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 15:48:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136486 Fri, 31 Aug 2012 10:02:55 +0000 Midfield Diamond 136486@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, great idea well executed and yet another deserved FP. And now you plan to do this full time? Perhaps the rest of us should just hang up our keyboards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136467 Fri, 31 Aug 2012 07:17:25 +0000 dvo4fun 136467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wot VCG said. Brilliant stuff </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136455 Fri, 31 Aug 2012 05:37:01 +0000 Jonny Shlep 136455@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Enjoyed this muchly. 5 squirts.</p> <p>Incidently I overcame the last hosepipe ban by painting my garden hose pink before posting it up my trouser leg and out through my flies. I then pretended I had an enlarged prostate.</p> <p>Absolutely true story that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136454 Fri, 31 Aug 2012 05:05:36 +0000 Perks 136454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Haha. you got me.</p> <p> unfortunately, at the moment I have about a 45 minute writing window between kids going to bed and me going to bed. but I have found a solution to this problem as of sunday I am 1 of the great unemployed so I will have all day to post !!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136438 Thu, 30 Aug 2012 23:02:49 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 136438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bloody hell Perks, you're on a bit of a roll with these late evening subs that go straight to FP before anybody has even noticed them aren't you? Are you actually editing the front page and putting them up yourself?</p> <p>More good work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47525#post-136411 Thu, 30 Aug 2012 19:17:26 +0000 Perks 136411@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After the MET Office announcement that August was the wettest for 100 years, Thames Water have declared a ’compulsory hosepipe use’. The moves comes just weeks after lifting a hosepipe ban that was enforced as a result of the wettest drought since records began.</p> <p> Thames Water’s CEO Martin Baggs explained the reasons behind the move. ’Our reservoirs are now full to bursting point. As well as them overflowing, there is a real danger one of them could spring a leak. As all of our repairs are done in-house, it could be October 2013 before it’s fixed properly. That’s why we’re asking all our customers to use their hosepipes to transport water from our reservoirs, to their taps, and on to the street.’</p> <p> Those opposed to the move have pointed out that if every house pours water into the street there is risk of flooding, but Mr Baggs was quick to point out that contingency plans are in place. ’Should any properties start to flood, call us, and we promise to get sandbags out to you within a week.’</p> <p> As with hosepipe bans, the compulsory use of hosepipes will be enforced by way of a fine for those found not wasting as much water as possible. This has led to complaints the ‘Enforcers’ have been over-zealous. One man in Enfield was fined £1000 after his neighbours reported him to the authorities. ‘I have been suffering money problems and decided to end it all’ he told us. ‘just as I was entering an unconscious and peaceful state I was woken by a knock at the car window. Stood there was a man holding the hosepipe I used to get the exhaust fumes into the car in one hand, and a fine of a grand for ‘miss-use’ in the other.</p> <p> However despite the criticism, Thames Water have stood by their decision. ‘We can’t handle this much water falling from the sky of all places. So far we have had over 366mm this August. To demonstrate how much that is, when you complain to us it is about the same as the two fingers we stick up to you put together.’</p> <p> It is believed that this measure will be in place until the UK sees three consecutive days of sunshine, at which point we expect a hosepipe ban to be put into place. When asked what the likelihood of compulsory hosepipe use working is, Mr Baggs assured us ‘This plan is as watertight as one of our underground pipes’. </p>