http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 06:45:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135933 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 17:04:06 +0000 rikkor 135933@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At least she doesn't have to disrobe when she visits her gynecologist. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135930 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 16:37:05 +0000 Jonny Shlep 135930@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't be too hard on your press boys rikkor. We have a "newspaper" this side of the puddle called The Star (old Pinxit up there is an avid aficionado) which considers the height of journalistic excellence to be taking an upskirt pic of Britney Spears when she gets out of a limo with no pants on.</p> <p>Still you dont like to grumble do ya? :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135922 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 14:28:11 +0000 pinxit 135922@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't believe everything you read. I do. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135916 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 13:57:05 +0000 rikkor 135916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Parochial" is not quite a damning enough word for most US papers and readers. I read the New York "Times", which has the best international coverage, and even they just had a tiny article about it. The whole story just doesn't fit in with the accepted narrative of "everything is wonderful in South Africa now that everyone has freedom and can vote". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135886 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 07:52:05 +0000 Jonny Shlep 135886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep it sure is my friend but at the risk of having my bottom explored by an immigration officer the next time I visit the US of A the American media does have a rather unenviable reputation for being somewhat *ahem* parochial.</p> <p>Anyways thank you kindly for your comment and keep on rocking in the free world :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135878 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 23:28:49 +0000 rikkor 135878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny. Amazing how little play this got in (American) newspapers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135815 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 12:23:03 +0000 Jonny Shlep 135815@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Look do I know you people?</p> <p>I didn't come here to be ganged up on you know?......particularly not by using a ratio of 12 to 1.</p> <p>For shame gentlemen......FOR SHAME!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135814 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 12:17:30 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 135814@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Loved this!</p> <p>Shuttlecock. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135812 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 12:14:12 +0000 Anonymous 135812@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha!</p> <p>reminds me of Rochdale.</p> <p>Stan xx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47287#post-135809 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 11:50:28 +0000 Jonny Shlep 135809@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>News was emerging last night that following fast on the heels of the slaying of 34 miners by South African police at the Mariken platinum mine near Johannesburg last week further heavy handed tactics have been deployed by the security forces resulting in the death of the entire populace.</p> <p>It's believed that the widespread massacre began early on Wednesday morning and was completed late Friday evening leaving just under 50 million dead and one wounded.</p> <p>The lone survivor Mr Jonas Nkoma, a flight attendant on South African Airways looked visibly shaken as he spoke to reporters of the carnage.</p> <p>"I'd just returned from a long haul flight to Dubai and was making my way across the tarmac to the terminal building when I noticed a number of bullet riddled bodies littering the runway and the grass verges" he stated.</p> <p>"At first I thought a few of the cabin crew and terminal staff had been partying the night before and were sleeping off the mealy meal lager before resuming their duties but I quickly realised something wasn't quite right when I noticed a number of them had their wrists bound behind their backs and had bullet wounds to the back of the head whilst the women were all naked and had the burnt carcasses of car tyres around their necks.</p> <p>I immediately turned round to report my findings to the pilot and remaining crew but when I was just a few metres from the aircraft I was shot in the back of the thigh by a sniper bullet. Seconds later a number of shoulder launched missiles struck the fuselage of the plane turning it into a raging fireball.</p> <p>I must have lain there amongst the smouldering debris for around 5 or 6 hours before making my escape and sheltering in an airport staff rhino whip store. It was absolutely terrible and what Nelson Mandela must be thinking I dread to think"</p> <p>A spokesperson for the South African police, Chief Inspector Dirk Racist an officer for 25 years and former toothmug wallah to the late Prime Minister Jan Christiaan Smuts made a brief statement to the media in which he stated that "In the current climate of unrest that pervades the country at this moment in time we believed that stern action was called for so we killed everybody. I mean to say some of them could have been carrying rudimentary weapons such as clubs or darts they'd taken from the pub and suchlike".</p> <p>"You can't be too careful in this day and age and given a similar set of circumstances I'd have no hesitation in slaughtering the entire population again in an effort to carry out my duty in protecting the public"</p> <p>South African President Jacob Zuma and members of the government were remaining tight lipped last night after having been mown down in a hail of machine gun fire during an afternoon cabinet meeting on Thursday. </p>