http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 14:23:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131580 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 12:29:31 +0000 waylandsmithy 131580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The aircraft carrier one is excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131577 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:37:58 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 131577@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I had a go at this a while back, yours is better though</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33416" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33416</a></p> <p>I was going to include a line about Mini planning an aircraft carrier too, but then discovered that the daily mash had done that:</p> <p><a href="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/mini-launches-first-aircraft-carrier-201009033060" rel="nofollow">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/mini-launches-first-aircraft-carrier-201009033060</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131572 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 09:52:12 +0000 waylandsmithy 131572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's a bit difficult to check everywhere, I normally don't bother and just wait for someone to point out anything that looks a bit similar... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131571 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 09:50:14 +0000 NewSuburbanDad 131571@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's annoying. I try to check for similar stories here but don't visit the "other places" for fear of infection....<br /> Glad you liked it though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131570 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 09:25:01 +0000 waylandsmithy 131570@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like it, but it was sort of done here:</p> <p><a href="http://newsthump.com/2012/07/09/bmw-invest-250m-to-build-all-conquering-gargantu-mini/">gargantu-MINI</a></p> <p>your version is better written, though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45729#post-131561 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 08:01:27 +0000 NewSuburbanDad 131561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>BMW has denied that its latest Mini, the 64 ton fully-armed Cooper Tank unveiled yesterday, “pushes the whole heritage brand concept a bit too far”.</p> <p>'Yes, it's a massive deadly weapon,' said spokesman Stefan Richter, 'but it has all the retro styling cues consumers have come to love from your iconic British small car. The missile guidance system is housed in a funky chrome central console, the carbon-fibre gun barrel has a pair of reinforced fluffy dice hanging off it, and if you peer through the blast-proof mesh, look! There's a pair of cheeky round headlamps winking at you!'</p> <p>The tank target market is rumoured to be  Porsche Cayenne drivers who need a little more "NATO deployment capability", and who don't object to a Union Flag on the roof.</p> <p>'Our brand development philosophy is summed up in one question,' declared Herr Richter. 'Can you still imagine Michael Caine driving one?  With the proto-tank,  the answer was "no". So we jammed the stereo to play"Self Preservation Society"  on all channels, stuck some gold in the boot, and installed 400w loudspeakers that scream "we're only going to blow your bloody doors off" just before firing a mortar round. After that, the monster was good to go. Va va Boom, as the French would say'.<br />  <br /> The Cooper Tank was  built from scratch, after attempts to adapt the existing  Clubman Countryman platform ended in failure. 'The Clubman chassis was simply too big' declared Herr Richter.  'But it's not about size. Underneath the Kevlar coating our Tank is still the same old loveable scamp that Alex Issigonis designed all those years ago. But no-one's going to try to cut this mother up on a mini roundabout.' </p>