Forum » Topic: Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London

Forum » Topic: Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 05:34:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php HIGNFY on "Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296#post-130067 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:33:36 +0000 HIGNFY 130067@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Para 2? No, he was from 2 Para...sorry, couldn't resist. Yes I might just do another one and just go for the troops in East London/Afghanistan slant, though I think by now someone must have done one or made a joke up about it somewhere - appreciate your feed back - thanks a lot. waylandsmithy on "Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296#post-130065 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:25:14 +0000 waylandsmithy 130065@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Yeah, sorry, I was a bit abrupt! Para 2 has no punctuation and is one, long sentence. Para 4 is the same. Generally, if it's a bit choppier, it's easier to read. You've nailed the ridiculousness of the situation, but I think you need to set up a premise to make it seem more ridiculous. The headline has great promise, but the article doesn't really expand on that idea: it needs more parallels between a hostile, unfamiliar environment that troops are desperate to leave, and Afghanistan. HIGNFY on "Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296#post-130061 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:03:40 +0000 HIGNFY 130061@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Yes, thanks for the critique - kind of agree with your comments would love some pointers regarding how I can "repair" this and constructive comment re punctuation so I can improve. Thanks. waylandsmithy on "Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296#post-130038 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 19:55:08 +0000 waylandsmithy 130038@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ It's not really satire, it's kind of 'angry reporting' with a joke in it. It's a bit all over the place and needs punctuation. Good subject matter, just too factual! HIGNFY on "Soldiers Volunteer to return to Afghanistan early rather than patrol East London" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45296#post-130021 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 18:38:58 +0000 HIGNFY 130021@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Prime Minister David Cameron was last night spotted breathing a big sigh of relief after the army was called in to provide 3500 troops to beef up security for the Olympic Games. Despite announcing massive cuts and redundancies in Britain’s armed forces the PM was quick to order the cancellation of leave for the already overstretched army after G4S said they were not sufficiently manned nor equipped to provide adequate security for London 2012 despite the fact they have already received payments of over #2 Billion for protecting the games resulting in massive dividend for its shareholders............. In June 2010 David Cameron announced plans to enshrine the Military Covenant in law - such a development would have allowed British servicemen and servicewomen to sue the State for breaches of the Military Covenant. The Covenant is a term used mainly by the British Army, other British armed forces and the media in relation to the question of adequate safeguards, rewards and compensation for military personnel who risk their lives. In February 2011 the Conservative-Liberal Democrat government decided that there was no need to make the Covenant law, proposing instead to cover it in an annual report to parliament which now seems was a bloody shrewd move as poorly paid service members cancel holidays and flights, with no refunds and with no recourse to the law to complain. Meanwhile fat cat G4S executives (and shareholders) get paid tax payers money while the army does the work. Corporal Dave “Smudge” Smith, of the Parachute Regiment asked “So, let me get this right, I come back from Afghanistan, book a holiday for me and the wife and nippers to Spain for two weeks, get me bloody leave cancelled, lose me money and then have to patrol bloody London for three weeks? Meanwhile the bloke, who was meant to do it and has been paid to do it, by me, via my tax, says he can’t do it, yet I don’t get a refund from him? Also, the Prime Minster, who makes money from dividends from the shares he has in this blokes company then tells me I am being made redundant, yet then wants me to work on me holidays because the bloke he got to replace me can’t cope?” Yes, that’s about it Smudge. Reports that some soldiers have volunteered to return to Afghanistan early, rather than patrol the mean streets of East London, have not yet been confirmed.