http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44920 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:51:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44920#post-128552 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 12:07:18 +0000 daneade 128552@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After missing his first appointment at Jobcentre the newly unemployed Bob Diamond has been ordered to complete 2 weeks work assistance at his local Poundland.</p> <p>Diamond has objected strongly to the order and said it amounts to forced labour – which ordinarily he’s been well in favour of in the past so long as it’s not his labour that's being forced.</p> <p>‘I don’t mind doing an honest days work, ‘said Diamond, ‘In fact when I did my last one back in 1993 I quite enjoyed it. What I object to is doing any form of work without getting an obscene amount of remuneration and a million odd Poundland shares in return.’</p> <p>His privileged, obnoxious, spoilt-brat offspring Nell – imaginatively pursuing a career with a leading Wall Street bank - loyally tweeted her support for Dad. </p> <p>‘Jobcentre can HMD and SMCk, as well as GAGF’d. Poundland doesn’t deserve someone as godlike and amazing as my Daddykins Bob Diamond #defonotacriminal’</p> <p>A Jobcentre spokesman was unrepentant and said ‘if Mr Diamond wants his £65 a week jobseekers allowance and his £17,000 a week accommodation allowance he’s going to have to swap it for his dignity like every other poor jobless sap in Britain.’ </p>