http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 16:31:16 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466#post-12535 Thu, 13 May 2010 20:28:46 +0000 gjp 12535@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Nice" work on the biscuit front. </p> <p>My favourite biscuit related joke has to be, what singer has a biscuit on his head. Lionel Rich Tea.</p> <p>sorry </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466#post-12483 Thu, 13 May 2010 17:42:08 +0000 vicfromvic 12483@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>is this the first time that NewsBiscuit has reported the Biscuit News? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466#post-12469 Thu, 13 May 2010 16:44:24 +0000 Skylarking 12469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Vince Cable' and 'Jammie Dodger' in same sentence. Quite. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466#post-12467 Thu, 13 May 2010 16:17:29 +0000 The Orgazoid 12467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant!</p> <p>David Cameron could have just remarked that the Lib Dems had wanted to join his club... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4466#post-12466 Thu, 13 May 2010 16:11:20 +0000 Ludicity 12466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The first meeting of David Cameron's coalition cabinet has ended in chaos and division with angry arguments about the fairest distribution of tea and biscuits. </p> <p>‘The existing system of ‘First-Pass-the-HobNobs’ is patently unfair,’ said Lib-Dem leader, Nick Clegg, ‘by the time the biscuits get round to us Eric Pickles has taken all the Chocolate Bourbons. All we are left with are Dr Liam Fox’s Butter Crinkles and nobody wants them.’ </p> <p>‘The Liberal Democrats would like to see a fairer system in which biscuits are allocated according to the number of teas that each of us has,’ said Business Secretary, Vince Cable, ‘I drank three cups of tea but got no biscuits. George Osborne had one cup but snaffled four Custard Creams and a Jammie Dodger, which I clearly saw him hiding under the table.’ </p> <p>The arguments intensified when Home Secretary, Theresa May, raised objections to the Lib-Dem policy of ‘dunking’. ‘We are a modern, progressive party,’ said Mrs May, ‘but I have to draw the line at people who dunk. It is immoral, unnatural and it leaves a horrid gunky mess at the bottom of the cup. That is something I find very difficult to swallow.’</p> <p>Tensions reached breaking point when William Hague stormed out of the room following a perceived insult from Energy Secretary, Chris Huhne. ‘I think he must have misheard me,’ said Mr Huhne, ‘all I said was that I really hate Garibaldis.’</p> <p>As the coalition began to crumble, David Cameron made a last ditch attempt to salvage the situation by promising a referendum on AB, or Alternative Biscuits. Under the system every member of cabinet would list their three favourite biscuits in strict order of preference before receiving a variety box containing biscuits nobody really wanted. </p> <p>'If the cabinet cannot agree over biscuits then it could trigger a 'Ginger Snap Election',' said constitutional expert, Professor Peter Hennessy, 'the only remaining option is for David Cameron to ask The Queen to call for the Duchy Originals - something that sounds good in principle but the country simply cannot afford.' </p>