http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 17:52:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-127519 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 13:20:20 +0000 writinginbsl 127519@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>late bon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126977 Sat, 23 Jun 2012 07:52:39 +0000 nickb 126977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oui </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126958 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 22:34:29 +0000 Nunnion Splendacular 126958@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Didn't get that bit, doubt many others will either.</p> <p>Top peice! Could be worth at least referencing the new breathalyser law. The French call the speed cops 'vaches roulette', which translates as 'uddered cuntwhistles'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126957 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 22:15:52 +0000 TiffindeVere 126957@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Outstanding. Without recourse to puerility and smut. Brilliant. ‘checking what they’ve got in the basket looks like the kind of meal Juliet Binoche would throw together for a few friends on a hillside’- SO FUNNY. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126948 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 21:44:02 +0000 Yikes 126948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice piece and very good punchline! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126904 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:02:36 +0000 Duff 126904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hon he-hon, zut alors but eet eez political correctness gone mad mon ami, non? </p> <p>Just got back from a golf trip en France last month and there was much moaning about all the new kit the drivers among us had to furnish their vehicles with. Most irritating was the 'necessity' for a high-viz for each and every passenger. Pfft!</p> <p>Mais, avez vous some etoiles sur moi Monsieur. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126903 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:00:51 +0000 dvo4fun 126903@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mad but I did splutter (I've just drained the 2nd Large One) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126902 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:00:22 +0000 beau-jolly 126902@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha ha Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44364#post-126901 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:52:44 +0000 NewSuburbanDad 126901@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Ministry of Transport in Paris confirmed yesterday that anyone driving in France must carry an ‘emergency hamper’, designed to ‘minimise risk of hunger in event of mechanical failure at lunch time, more than 2.4 kilometres from a brasserie’.</p> <p>The new rule was immediately dismissed as a ruse to collect fines from unsuspecting foreign motorists, particularly after it was revealed traffic cops have undergone training in ‘checking what they’ve got in the basket looks like the kind of meal Juliet Binoche would throw together for a few friends on a hillside’.</p> <p>‘If you want to drive in our country you should respect our laws,’ said a spokesman, ‘and the law requires you to carry two fresh baguettes, some perfectly ripe brie, a half carafe of appellation controllee red wine or better, and a gingham picnic blanket with the checks no bigger than 10 cm. Even you Brits should be able to manage that’.</p> <p>The ministry pointed out that original plans, which required the wicker hamper to double up as an emergency shelter/life raft / undercarriage of a hot air balloon should you need rescuing from a ravine, had already been watered down considerably.</p> <p>Other European countries are looking at the scheme with interest, with the Swiss ‘fairly certain motorists could benefit in a crisis from a large dog with a brandy barrel around its neck’, and the Greeks pondering the possible roadside uses of ‘an inflatable Orthodox cathedral to seat at least 20 people, or pay a 1000 Euro fine’.</p> <p>‘Personally I’ve no objection to all this stuff’ said an English motorist interviewed at Calais. ‘The last time I drove across the continent, by the time I’d got the compulsory Flugelhorn, raffia donkey, polish plumber called Yacob and fully operational spy satellite in the car there was no room for the wife and kids. Best holiday I ever had. I bloody love Europe.’ </p>